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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The two pie charts illustrate statistics of employment patterns in United Kingdom in 1992.

The two pie charts illustrate statistics of employment patterns in United Kingdom in 1992.
The provided chart shows the studies of employment patterns in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 for both
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in 1992.
Overall
Linking Words
 the most common highest percentage for both
category
Fix the agreement mistake
categories
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 are the craft or similar which are nearly the same plus the managerial and
proffessional
Correct your spelling
professional
professionally
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of general labourers
are
Change the verb form
is
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 the lowest in
feminine
Add an article
the feminine
a feminine
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 and masculine
chart
Fix the agreement mistake
charts
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. To get in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
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 the highest portion
in
Change preposition
of
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 the female are clerical or related , managerial and
proessional
Correct your spelling
professional
 and craft or similar for 31%,29% and 27% respectively .
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
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 the lower percentage
in
Change preposition
of
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 women are the employment patterns of other
non manual
Add a hyphen
non-manual
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 for 9% and manual for 3% , and general
labourses
Correct your spelling
labour
 and the lowest which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 1% .
On the contrary
Linking Words
 , the lowest amount in employment patterns in men are
clercial
Correct your spelling
clerical
 or related and other
non manual
Add a hyphen
non-manual
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 for 6%
in addition
Linking Words
 to general labourers for 2% ,
whereas
Linking Words
 the highest amount for male
arew
Correct your spelling
are
crew
 managerial and professional , craft or similar, and
other manual
Change the wording
another manual
other manuals
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 for 36% ,26% and 24% for each of them.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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