The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instrument in 2005, 2010 and 2015. (the piano was over 10% in 2005, over 20% in 2010, about 35% in 2015; the guitar was over 10% in 2005, about 18% in 2010, 40% in 2015; the drums was about 5% in 1005, about 4% in 2010, about 10% in 2015; the violin was 10% in 2005, 9% in 2010, 5% in 2015)
The bar chart illustrates the percentages of children in school learning to play different
music
Replace the word
musical
instrument
in 2005, 2010 and 2015.
Fix the agreement mistake
instruments
Overall
, it can be seen that in 2005 and 2010 the highest percentage is
piano, Wrong verb form
was
while
drums accounted for the lowest proportion. Furthermore
, there is
a significant increase in piano and guitar in 2015.
The Wrong verb form
was
percantage
of children who play guitar and piano Correct your spelling
percentage
satrted
at just over 10% in 2005. Correct your spelling
started
This
fiugre
Correct your spelling
figure
then
rose steadily to almost 20% in 2010, before reach
a peak of up Change the verb form
reaching
tp
40% in 2015. Correct your spelling
to
While
drums and violin stay less than 10% in 2005, 2010 and 2015.
In terms of children who learn violin, the rate slowly decrease
in the three years ( about 9%, 7% and 5% respectively ). For those who Change the verb form
decreases
learn
drums Wrong verb form
learned
reamin
Correct your spelling
remained
same
percentage in the first two years, which is around 5%, and Change the article
the same
then
slightly increase
to 9% in 2015.Wrong verb form
increased
Submitted by yushin20020625 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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