The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instrument in 2005, 2010 and 2015. (the piano was over 10% in 2005, over 20% in 2010, about 35% in 2015; the guitar was over 10% in 2005, about 18% in 2010, 40% in 2015; the drums was about 5% in 1005, about 4% in 2010, about 10% in 2015; the violin was 10% in 2005, 9% in 2010, 5% in 2015)

The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instrument in 2005, 2010 and 2015. (the piano was over 10% in 2005, over 20% in 2010, about 35% in 2015; the guitar was over 10% in 2005, about 18% in 2010, 40% in 2015; the drums was about 5% in 1005, about 4% in 2010, about 10% in 2015; the violin was 10% in 2005, 9% in 2010, 5% in 2015)
The bar chart illustrates the percentages of children in school learning to play different
music
Replace the word
musical
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instrument
Fix the agreement mistake
instruments
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in 2005, 2010 and 2015.
Overall
, it can be seen that in 2005 and 2010 the highest percentage
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
piano,
while
drums accounted for the lowest proportion.
Furthermore
, there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
a significant increase in piano and guitar in 2015. The
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
of children who play guitar and piano
satrted
Correct your spelling
started
at just over 10% in 2005.
This
fiugre
Correct your spelling
figure
then
rose steadily to almost 20% in 2010, before
reach
Change the verb form
reaching
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a peak of up
tp
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
40% in 2015.
While
drums and violin stay less than 10% in 2005, 2010 and 2015. In terms of children who learn violin, the rate slowly
decrease
Change the verb form
decreases
show examples
in the three years ( about 9%, 7% and 5% respectively ). For those who
learn
Wrong verb form
learned
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drums
reamin
Correct your spelling
remained
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
percentage in the first two years, which is around 5%, and
then
slightly
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
to 9% in 2015.
Submitted by yushin20020625 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instrument proficiency
  • Year-over-year comparison
  • Percentage increase
  • Cultural impact
  • Technological advancements
  • Popularity surge
  • Music education trends
  • Instrument learning preferences
  • Gradual decline
  • Future projections
  • Statistical significance
  • Cultural preferences
  • Educational implications
  • Accessibility of instruments
  • Shifts in popular music genres
  • Adoption rates
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