The illustriations show how chocolate is produced.

A diagram is information pertaining to the extension of how
chocolate
is produced in the factory.
Overall
,
this
chocolate
process involves ten stages, commencing with farming and ending with drying and roasting to the final product. The initial stage focused on the origin of the ingredients to produce
chocolate
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
cacao. It grows in the south
both
Change preposition
of both
show examples
America and Africa.It takes
many
Correct word choice
a long
show examples
time for cacao trees to improve and make a cacao have a good quality, and
then
farmers harvest only white cocoa
beans
. After that,
beans
put
Add a missing verb
are put
show examples
in the box and covered with leaves to ferment.
Next,
when the
beans
finish the
ferment
Change the verb form
fermenting
show examples
step, they will
spread
Add a missing verb
be spread
show examples
the
beans
in the sun to dry and put
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in large sacks. The following stage is the transport of
beans
by train or lorry to take to the factory. Preparing
chocolate
for production is the focus of the later steps in the sequence.
Beans
roast in the machine at a high temperature.
Then
, all of the
beans
are crushed to discriminate the outer shell and
beans
crushed. At the final step of
this
process, the inner part is
press
Wrong verb form
pressed
show examples
to liquid
chocolate
and
this
is the important ingredient to make more genres of
chocolate
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
ready to introduce to the world.
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coherence cohesion
Include a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the coherence of your essay. This will make the progression from one stage to the next smoother.
task achievement
Focus on expanding key stages with more detail to fully develop your ideas and provide a more comprehensive understanding of the chocolate production process.
language
Work on grammar and punctuation to enhance overall clarity and readability. Avoid run-on sentences and check subject-verb agreement.
task achievement
You provided a clear overview of the chocolate production process, effectively summarizing the main stages involved.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure that outlines the progression of chocolate production in an understandable sequence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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