The graphs show the changes in the UK industry steel between 1970 and 2000.

#graphs #show #changes #uk #industry #steel

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The given two charts depict the changes that took place in the steel

industry

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the Unite

show examples

Unite

Correct your spelling

United

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Kingdom from 1970 to 2000.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that the total

demand

Use synonyms

, production, and people working in

this

Linking Words

industry

Use synonyms

decreased;

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

import

Fix the agreement mistake

imports

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increased in the given time period. In the

year

Use synonyms

1970, the

demand

Use synonyms

Change preposition

for

show examples

steel

Correct article usage

the steel

show examples

industry

Use synonyms

was quite high and was 200000, but the

prodcution

Correct your spelling

production

was a bit low as compared to

Use synonyms

demand

Correct article usage

the demand

show examples

which was around 165000.

However

Linking Words

, with the passage of time by the

year

Use synonyms

2000, both the

demand

Use synonyms

and the production

shown

Wrong verb form

showed

show examples

a sharp decrease to 100000 and around 80000 respectively,

whereas

Linking Words

, it is interesting to see that in the

year

Use synonyms

1970, the import was very low

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and was just above zero, but

then

Linking Words

it started to rise, and by the

year

Use synonyms

1970, it rose

dramtically

Correct your spelling

dramatically

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and was approximately 75000.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the trend in employment status was

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

as with the

demand

Use synonyms

and

prodcution

Correct your spelling

production

. In the

year

Use synonyms

1970,

people

Correct article usage

the people

show examples

employed in the steel

industry

Use synonyms

were the highest

that is

Linking Words

50000;

although

Linking Words

later on the employment started to decrease , and in 1990 it was less than half of 50000, and by the

year

Use synonyms

2000, people employed in the

industry

Use synonyms

were shown a

further

Linking Words

decrease to just under 20000.

Submitted by harleenarora620 on Sat May 11 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words industry, demand, year with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

209 words

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The graphs show the changes in the UK industry steel between 1970 and 2000.

Some people think that radio is the best way to get the news while others think that television is better for this purpose.

Large-scale festivals attract tourists, bring economic benefits to an area, while taking away the local culture. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skill and more creative than reading to what extent do you agree or disagree use reason and specific example for to explain your answer.