Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In contemporary humans are becoming times which new
helpfulnees
Correct your spelling
helpfulness

If you don’t want helpfulnees to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

technology for own. In
family
Correct article usage
the family

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
,
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

when older want more help from
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for their health,
communicate
Replace the word
communication

The word communicate doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
and lifefulness.
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

more
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

wants
Change the verb form
want

The singular verb wants does not appear to agree with the plural subject parents. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
to know
as
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

situation
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

must
be stay
Change the verb form
stay

It appears that the form of the verb stay does not work with be in this sentence.

show examples
with
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
or
no
Correct your spelling
not

The word no doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
?
Change the punctuation
.

The punctuation mark may be incorrect here. Consider changing it.

show examples
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

be respectful
traditional
Replace the word
traditions

The word traditional doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
, youth can lead
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
without
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
.
In every
Change preposition
Every

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
person must be free in adulty times, cause
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

most
Add a missing verb
is most

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
important for
future
Correct article usage
the future

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
, personal face in society and own new family. But after some periods will be extended family and reunion relatives.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, every
youth
Correct your spelling
young

The word youth doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
family want to learn to own
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

the hold
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations

It seems that conversation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
through
relatives
Change noun form
relatives'
relative's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
affection. In that time getting
together with
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

loved ones
make
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
motive
Replace the word
motivate

The word motive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
and
believing
Replace the word
belief

The word believing doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
for
future
Correct article usage
the future

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
to
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
At
Change preposition
On

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the other side
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

parents
Add a comma
parents,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase At the other side parents. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
even
they
Correct word choice
if they

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
will
Verb problem
are

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
older times do not
want
Add the particle
want to

It appears that the verb be should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

show examples
be
together with
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

own
Correct pronoun usage
their own

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
they want
different
Add an article
a different

The noun phrase different situation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
situation with
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

mate.
In
Change preposition
For

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
instance
Add a comma
instance,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In instance. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
older
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

may be the trips, creation
new
Change preposition
of new

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
places or
find
Wrong verb form
finding

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb find. Consider changing it.

show examples
own new lifemates
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends

It seems that friend may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
. And
that
Change preposition
in that

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
postion
Correct your spelling
position

If you don’t want postion to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

learn more
skillfulls
Correct your spelling
skills

If you don’t want skillfulls to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and maybe
make
Verb problem
come

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
more amazing ideas for
olders
Correct your spelling
older
holders

If you don’t want olders to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. In conclusion, I think every person has a right
choose
Fix the infinitive
to choose

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

show examples
for older
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

period may be loved ones or new strangers with hold conversations,
futhermore
Correct your spelling
furthermore

If you don’t want futhermore to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is continuing at the bright side own line. And
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

position will show different challenges to
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, adults and every youth in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
And stay
Wrong verb form
Staying

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb And stay. Consider changing it.

show examples
with relatives or strangers in older
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is not incorrect for humans

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction Clarity
Consider focusing on more clearly defining the discussion topic early in your essay. Providing a clear introduction that outlines the topic and your perspective will help set a focused direction for your argument.
Paragraph Development
Be mindful of ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates directly to the prompt. Develop your paragraphs with specific examples or explanations to support your points.
Logical Structure
Pay attention to using a logical structure to organize your essay; this includes having a notable beginning, middle, and end. Use clear paragraphing to separate your ideas.
Language Use
Try to use a variety of sentence structures and more precise vocabulary to clearly present your ideas. This will help make your argument more compelling and easier to follow.
Conclusion Strength
Including a conclusion that summarizes your discussion and clearly states your opinion gives your essay a strong ending. Ensure this conclusion ties back to the prompt and your initial argument.
Engagement with Prompt
You've engaged with the prompt by discussing both views and providing your opinion, which is a positive aspect of task response.
Idea Connection
Your essay shows an attempt to connect ideas and examples, even though these connections could be clarified and developed further for better coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: