Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In contemporary humans are becoming times which new
helpfulnees
Correct your spelling
helpfulness
technology for own. In
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
,
parents
when older want more help from
children
for their health,
communicate
Replace the word
communication
show examples
and lifefulness.
therefore
more
parents
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
to know
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
situation
children
must
be stay
Change the verb form
stay
show examples
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
or
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
Although
be respectful
traditional
Replace the word
traditions
show examples
, youth can lead
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
without
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
.
In every
Change preposition
Every
show examples
person must be free in adulty times, cause
this
most
Add a missing verb
is most
show examples
important for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
, personal face in society and own new family. But after some periods will be extended family and reunion relatives.
For example
, every
youth
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
family want to learn to own
children
the hold
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
through
relatives
Change noun form
relatives'
relative's
show examples
affection. In that time getting
together with
loved ones
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
motive
Replace the word
motivate
show examples
and
believing
Replace the word
belief
show examples
for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
children
.
At
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other side
parents
Add a comma
parents,
show examples
even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
will
Verb problem
are
show examples
older times do not
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
be
together with
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
children
,
instead
of
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they want
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
situation with
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
life
mate.
In
Change preposition
For
show examples
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
older
life
for
parents
may be the trips, creation
new
Change preposition
of new
show examples
places or
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
own new lifemates
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
. And
that
Change preposition
in that
show examples
postion
Correct your spelling
position
learn more
skillfulls
Correct your spelling
skills
and maybe
make
Verb problem
come
show examples
more amazing ideas for
olders
Correct your spelling
older
holders
. In conclusion, I think every person has a right
choose
Fix the infinitive
to choose
show examples
for older
life
.
This
period may be loved ones or new strangers with hold conversations,
futhermore
Correct your spelling
furthermore
life
is continuing at the bright side own line. And
this
position will show different challenges to
children
, adults and every youth in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
.
And stay
Wrong verb form
Staying
show examples
with relatives or strangers in older
life
is not incorrect for humans
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction Clarity
Consider focusing on more clearly defining the discussion topic early in your essay. Providing a clear introduction that outlines the topic and your perspective will help set a focused direction for your argument.
Paragraph Development
Be mindful of ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates directly to the prompt. Develop your paragraphs with specific examples or explanations to support your points.
Logical Structure
Pay attention to using a logical structure to organize your essay; this includes having a notable beginning, middle, and end. Use clear paragraphing to separate your ideas.
Language Use
Try to use a variety of sentence structures and more precise vocabulary to clearly present your ideas. This will help make your argument more compelling and easier to follow.
Conclusion Strength
Including a conclusion that summarizes your discussion and clearly states your opinion gives your essay a strong ending. Ensure this conclusion ties back to the prompt and your initial argument.
Engagement with Prompt
You've engaged with the prompt by discussing both views and providing your opinion, which is a positive aspect of task response.
Idea Connection
Your essay shows an attempt to connect ideas and examples, even though these connections could be clarified and developed further for better coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!