Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In contemporary humans are becoming times which new
helpfulnees
technology for own. In Correct your spelling
helpfulness
family
, Correct article usage
the family
parents
when older want more help from children
for their health, communicate
and lifefulness. Replace the word
communication
therefore
more parents
wants
to know Change the verb form
want
as
Correct word choice
apply
this
situation children
must be stay
Change the verb form
stay
with
Change preposition
on
own
or Correct pronoun usage
their own
no
Correct your spelling
not
?
Change the punctuation
.
Although
be respectful traditional
, youth can lead Replace the word
traditions
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
life
without Fix the agreement mistake
lives
parents
. Correct pronoun usage
their parents
In every
person must be free in adulty times, cause Change preposition
Every
this
most
important for Add a missing verb
is most
future
, personal face in society and own new family. But after some periods will be extended family and reunion relatives. Correct article usage
the future
For example
, every youth
family want to learn to own Correct your spelling
young
children
the hold conversation
through Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
relatives
affection. In that time getting Change noun form
relatives'
relative's
together with
loved ones make
Verb problem
apply
motive
and Replace the word
motivate
believing
for Replace the word
belief
future
Correct article usage
the future
to
Change preposition
of
children
.
At
the other side Change preposition
On
parents
even Add a comma
parents,
they
Correct word choice
if they
will
older times do not Verb problem
are
want
be Add the particle
want to
together with
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
children
, instead
of that
they want Correct pronoun usage
apply
different
situation with Add an article
a different
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
life
mate. In
Change preposition
For
instance
older Add a comma
instance,
life
for parents
may be the trips, creation new
places or Change preposition
of new
find
own new lifemates Wrong verb form
finding
friend
. And Fix the agreement mistake
friends
that
Change preposition
in that
postion
learn more Correct your spelling
position
skillfulls
and maybe Correct your spelling
skills
make
more amazing ideas for Verb problem
come
olders
.
In conclusion, I think every person has a right Correct your spelling
older
holders
choose
for older Fix the infinitive
to choose
life
. This
period may be loved ones or new strangers with hold conversations, futhermore
Correct your spelling
furthermore
life
is continuing at the bright side own line. And this
position will show different challenges to children
, adults and every youth in the
Correct article usage
apply
life
. And stay
with relatives or strangers in older Wrong verb form
Staying
life
is not incorrect for humansSubmitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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Introduction Clarity
Consider focusing on more clearly defining the discussion topic early in your essay. Providing a clear introduction that outlines the topic and your perspective will help set a focused direction for your argument.
Paragraph Development
Be mindful of ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates directly to the prompt. Develop your paragraphs with specific examples or explanations to support your points.
Logical Structure
Pay attention to using a logical structure to organize your essay; this includes having a notable beginning, middle, and end. Use clear paragraphing to separate your ideas.
Language Use
Try to use a variety of sentence structures and more precise vocabulary to clearly present your ideas. This will help make your argument more compelling and easier to follow.
Conclusion Strength
Including a conclusion that summarizes your discussion and clearly states your opinion gives your essay a strong ending. Ensure this conclusion ties back to the prompt and your initial argument.
Engagement with Prompt
You've engaged with the prompt by discussing both views and providing your opinion, which is a positive aspect of task response.
Idea Connection
Your essay shows an attempt to connect ideas and examples, even though these connections could be clarified and developed further for better coherence.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?