Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people think it is necessary, but others are of the opinion that it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
Some individuals believe that the wages of
high level
employees Add a hyphen
high-level
such
as directors must be the same with
Change preposition
as
the
Correct determiner usage
those
ordinary
employees, Change preposition
of ordinary
while
, others insist that this
way of thinking is incorrect. I totally agree with the latter opinion. The forthcoming essay shall discuss the
both views and explain my point of view.
On Remove the article
apply
one
hand, some people argue that the salaries of directors Correct article usage
the one
shlould
be equal Correct your spelling
should
with
their colleagues to some Change preposition
to
extended
. Replace the word
extent
To begin
with, the
equality in the office provides Correct article usage
apply
the
calm atmosphere and Correct article usage
a
rises
the person’s effectiveness, and the relationship among colleagues, who work in one section, would improve Correct your spelling
raises
due to
their financial level. Moreover
, employees become professional
in a specific occupation and remain in that position for Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
couple
of years in order Change the article
a couple
trying
to become Verb problem
apply
manager
for higher income, Fix the agreement mistake
managers
in
a result, Change preposition
apply
this
will increase the company’s profit.
On the other hand
, other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
beleive
that the salary difference must Correct your spelling
believe
be imply
in companies, because of various factors. Change the verb form
be implied
Firstly
, the sense of competition would have positive
impact on Add an article
a positive
person’s
abilities, so Correct article usage
a person’s
individual
ought to try more to get Correct article usage
an individual
promotion
and earn more money. Correct article usage
a promotion
Secondly
, the
factors Correct article usage
apply
such
as Knowledge, experience and education must be considered in the amount of salaries, this
is unfair an employee with lower experience and university get
paid Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
same
as someone with leadership ability. Correct article usage
the same
Finally
, the higher revenue might increase people’s motivation to qualified
themselves to be Wrong verb form
qualify
a
option for Change the article
an
manager’s
position, Correct article usage
a manager’s
for instance
, enormous companies like Google and Apple always choose their directors among the talented and hard working
adults and Add a hyphen
hard-working
paid
them well in return.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
pay
although
some people believe that the income of the simple staff should be equal with
its manager, I personally suppose, Change preposition
to
this
view will decrease the competition and motivation sense in the
society, and the wages must be Correct article usage
apply
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
base
on Replace the word
based
person’s
experience and knowledge.Correct article usage
a person’s
Submitted by Negar_seddigh on
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Clarity
Ensure clarity in your arguments by avoiding overly complex sentences or mixed constructions that could confuse readers. Simplify where necessary to maintain clarity.
Grammar
Revise for consistency in verb tense usage to enhance the readability and professionalism of your essay.
Detail
Consider expanding your examples with more concrete data or specific situations to strengthen your arguments and make your point more convincing.
Accuracy
Pay attention to spelling and grammar, particularly with verb forms and pluralization, to avoid minor errors that distract from your message.
Structure
You structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion.
Task Response
Your essay successfully addresses the prompt by discussing both viewpoints and providing your own opinion, effectively fulfilling the task assignment.
Linking Words
Use of linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs demonstrates good control over coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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