Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opining.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

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People have different views about whether

the

Correct article usage

apply

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educators ought to just focus on their main

subjects

Use synonyms

in university in order to become professional, or they are free to study other

subjects

Use synonyms

simultaneously. In my point of view, focusing on

specific

Correct article usage

a specific

show examples

major might have some drawbacks, so it is better for

student

Add an article

the student

a student

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to allocate their time to

learn

Wrong verb form

learning

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different

subjects

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. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

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hand, Some believe that students should learn about different

subjects

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while

Linking Words

they are studying at universities, it is an excellent development

because of

Change preposition

for

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several reasons.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the majority of young people have more free time than adults, by attending various courses and learning new skills they are able to be more qualified and ready for

Add an article

the labor

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labor

Change the spelling

labour

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market.

Secondly

Linking Words

, nowadays, the competition in occupation is so severe, as

consequence

Correct article usage

a consequence

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, individuals must

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

multitask because they may not be able to find a job which is related to their education.

Finally

Linking Words

, the speed of technology advancement is furious, and AI (artificial intelligence) would

takeover

Correct your spelling

take over

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the majority of job opportunities, so it is essential for students to be prepared for any circumstances.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some groups insist that students must put their whole attention on their major.

This

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could be true in some majors

such

Linking Words

as medical and engineering, because these fields are so vast and tremendous efforts are needed to be a specialist. As a matter of fact, the more knowledge they obtain the more sophisticated they will be in future. So no time is left to follow other

subjects

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. In conclusion, as our future is wage because of technology, in my opinion, the young generation should be ready for any changes and

this

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will

earn

Wrong verb form

be earned

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by knowing about various

subjects

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especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

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the ones which are related to AI.

Submitted by Negar_seddigh on Sat May 11 2024

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language use

Consider using a wider range of complex sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your essay.

introduction clarity

Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the views to be discussed and your own stance.

argument depth

In the development paragraphs, include more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments.

balanced discussion

Try to maintain a balance between discussing both views before concluding with your own perspective.

structure and organization

You have a good structure with clear paragraphs, and you effectively discuss both viewpoints before providing your own opinion.

conclusion effectiveness

Your conclusion effectively sums up the arguments presented and reiterates your own stance.

coherence in argument

You successfully introduce and summarize the main points of both sides of the argument in a coherent way.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opining.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You have been selected for a training course on computer skills that you cannot attend. WRITE A LETTER TO YOUR EMPLOYER AND SAY Explain how this training course would help you Why won't you be able to attend it Suggest a way to have that training again

You are organizing a conference for your company. Write a letter to a colleague asking him/her to give a presentation during the conference. -Describe what this conference is about -Why you want him/her to give a presentation -Give details about the conference

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The graph below shoes the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a Europian country between 1987 and 2007.

Nowadays, experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.