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Band 3.5

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015. Write 150 words.

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015. Write 150 words.
#information #percentage #women #education #five #countries #years
The given bar chart provides information about comparisons among 5
countries
 of
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of women
undergo
Wrong verb form
undergoing
show examples
 a study in higher education throughout 35 years from 1980 to 2015. It can be clearly seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 only
Australia
Change preposition
in Australia
show examples
 had more than half of
female
Correct article usage
the female
show examples
 population
pursued
Wrong verb form
pursue
show examples
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 career
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 higher education in 1980. The rest of the
countries
such
 as
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, and France had under 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively around, 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, 38
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, and 49
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. South
Korea
being
Change the form of the verb
is
show examples
 the lowest
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 about 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. 35 years later, all
countries
 except South
Korea
Change noun form
Korea's
show examples
 percentage
move
Wrong verb form
moved
show examples
 upward to 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
women
Correct article usage
the women
show examples
 population. UK and USA percentages are rising
up for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, France increasing
at
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a tiny fraction, and Australia remained the same.
Although
 South
Korea
Change noun form
Korea's
show examples
 percentage
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 doubled up to 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, it is not changing the fact that South
Korea
 has the lowest numbers among all
countries
 included.
Submitted by pocutarifahzahrina on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, percent, korea with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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