today more and more people want things instantly( e.g.: goods, services, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?
In
the
modern society, Correct article usage
apply
increasing
number of Add an article
an increasing
people
are preferring
speedy actions and reactions. Wrong verb form
prefer
Although
the introduction of new technology has accelerated our way of life
, in my opinion, it is mostly creating a vicious circle of crimes and chronic illnesses. In the essay, I will go into great depth to explain the concept.
The unprecedented advancement of communication and automation technology has made people
's life
faster and more comfortable than ever before. Regardless Fix the agreement mistake
lives
the
distance in between, they can set up real-time audio-visual contact, enjoy and participate Change preposition
of the
online
live events, and get constant updates Change preposition
in online
of
different activities around the world. Automation technology is another ground-breaking innovation which has made Change preposition
on
people
's daily life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
such
enjoyable that was once even beyond of
imagination. Change preposition
apply
For example
, washing machine
, electronic cookware, Fix the agreement mistake
machines
refrigerator
, air conditioning Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
system
, home Fix the agreement mistake
systems
theatre
, and entry-exit Fix the agreement mistake
theatres
system
for vehicles or buildings etc. all Fix the agreement mistake
systems
are
Verb problem
apply
functioning
with just a push of one button, Replace the word
function
or
with a finger touch, or simply with a voice code.
Correct word choice
apply
However
, this
revolutionary development is also
blamed for easing dreadful cyber-crimes and promoting a disease prone
sedentary Add a hyphen
disease-prone
lifestyle
. Through digital platform
like Change the noun form
platforms
internet
or mobile phone, cyber criminals are attacking Correct article usage
the internet
people
by sending hurtful text messages, using unauthorized photos or videos, and spreading rumours via social media. A 15 year-long
trend line study suggests that Add a hyphen
15-year-long
due to
excessive dependency on automation, many people
are becoming physically inactive, which is doubling the risk of obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, depression and so on. This
is how the fast and automatic lifestyle
has brought an incredible pace at the cost of health and safety.
In conclusion, though the fast-paced lifestyle
has gifted our daily life
a rhythm of speed and comfort, it is also
accused of inviting severe cyber-crimes and a disease prone
sedentary Add a hyphen
disease-prone
lifestyle
. Therefore
, all things considered, I am still of the opinion that this
quick responsive lifestyle
is overall
a negative development.Submitted by [email protected]
on
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task achievement
Provide a wider range of examples to support your arguments for a more comprehensive understanding.
task achievement
Consider engaging more deeply with the positive aspects of the prompt for a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, make smoother transitions between paragraphs, linking ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
coherence cohesion
Good logical structure, making your essay easy to follow.
task achievement
Relevant examples provided to support key points, enhancing your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.