today more and more people want things instantly( e.g.: goods, services, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

#people #e #g #goods #services #news #development

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern society,

increasing

Add an article

an increasing

show examples

number of

people

are preferring

Wrong verb form

prefer

show examples

speedy actions and reactions.

Although

the introduction of new technology has accelerated our way of

life

, in my opinion, it is mostly creating a vicious circle of crimes and chronic illnesses. In the essay, I will go into great depth to explain the concept. The unprecedented advancement of communication and automation technology has made

people

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

faster and more comfortable than ever before. Regardless

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

distance in between, they can set up real-time audio-visual contact, enjoy and participate

online

Change preposition

in online

show examples

live events, and get constant updates

Change preposition

show examples

different activities around the world. Automation technology is another ground-breaking innovation which has made

people

's daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

such

enjoyable that was once even beyond

Change preposition

apply

show examples

imagination.

For example

, washing

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

, electronic cookware,

refrigerator

Fix the agreement mistake

refrigerators

show examples

, air conditioning

system

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

show examples

, home

theatre

Fix the agreement mistake

theatres

show examples

, and entry-exit

system

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

show examples

for vehicles or buildings etc. all

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

functioning

Replace the word

function

show examples

with just a push of one button,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

with a finger touch, or simply with a voice code.

However

this

revolutionary development is

also

blamed for easing dreadful cyber-crimes and promoting a

disease prone

Add a hyphen

disease-prone

show examples

sedentary

lifestyle

. Through digital

platform

Change the noun form

platforms

show examples

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

or mobile phone, cyber criminals are attacking

people

by sending hurtful text messages, using unauthorized photos or videos, and spreading rumours via social media. A

15 year-long

Add a hyphen

15-year-long

show examples

trend line study suggests that

due to

excessive dependency on automation, many

people

are becoming physically inactive, which is doubling the risk of obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, depression and so on.

This

is how the fast and automatic

lifestyle

has brought an incredible pace at the cost of health and safety. In conclusion, though the fast-paced

lifestyle

has gifted our daily

life

a rhythm of speed and comfort, it is

also

accused of inviting severe cyber-crimes and a

disease prone

Add a hyphen

disease-prone

show examples

sedentary

lifestyle

Therefore

, all things considered, I am still of the opinion that

this

quick responsive

lifestyle

overall

a negative development.

Submitted by [email protected] on Sun May 12 2024

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task achievement

Provide a wider range of examples to support your arguments for a more comprehensive understanding.

task achievement

Consider engaging more deeply with the positive aspects of the prompt for a balanced argument.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, make smoother transitions between paragraphs, linking ideas more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Strong introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.

coherence cohesion

Good logical structure, making your essay easy to follow.

task achievement

Relevant examples provided to support key points, enhancing your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

315 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Instant gratification
Technological advancements
Consumer expectations
Same-day delivery
Streaming platforms
Information overload
Decision fatigue
Environmental implications
Societal implications
Resource depletion
Marketing strategies
Consumer satisfaction
Quality of life

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today more and more people want things instantly( e.g.: goods, services, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today's technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Topic: Many children and students are taught to push themselves to be better than others rather than work together for everyones’s benefits. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the government should establish free libraries in each town. Others, however, believe that it is a waste of money since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting a university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.