Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a widely held perception that governments should spend
money
on other things,
instead
of exploring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
because it is a waste of
money
. I personally believe that there are other important things to spend on rather than on
space
exploration
. One point which I believe is absolutely pivotal is the fact that there are a lot of problems on the
EArth
Correct your spelling
earth
show examples
related to the well-being of
people
, and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
of the planet.
Therefore
, it would be way more sensible to spend
money
on the
decease
Correct your spelling
decrease
show examples
of regions where
people
suffer from famine and various kinds of diseases
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or
improve make
Verb problem
take
show examples
some steps in order to improve the environment. Adding
further
credibility to the statement brings to an idea of the fact that even if companies and governments spend
money
on
space
exploration
in order
colonize
Fix the infinitive
to colonize
show examples
other habitable planets, there is a high probability that
colonized
Correct article usage
the colonized
show examples
planet will be in the same condition as the Earth after a certain period of time. And
due to
this
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
it seems pointless to pollute another habitable planet and spend quite a lot of
money
on it. Turning to the other side of the argument
space
exploration
may give more information about the galaxy and about other factors that we are not aware of yet. What I mean by
this
is that science and especially
space
hid
Wrong verb form
hides
show examples
a lot of information that
people
need to know in order to improve their capabilities.
To sum up
, some
people
believe that
space
exploration
is a waste of
money
, and
instead
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it government should spend
money
on other things. Personally, I believe that spending
money
on current problems that there are on the Earth is way better
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
spending the same amount of
money
on
space
exploration
.
Submitted by Ayan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Use
You've presented a well-structured argument which clearly outlines your viewpoint throughout the essay. To enhance your score further, consider integrating more complex sentence structures and varying your vocabulary to demonstrate a wider range of language skills.
Task Response
While your main points are supported, incorporating more detailed examples and evidence would strengthen your argument and provide a more persuasive case for your viewpoint.
Introduction and Conclusion
You've successfully introduced and concluded your essay, framing your argument effectively. For improvement, ensure that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance in a compelling manner.
Position and Clarity
Your essay maintains a clear position throughout, which speaks to your strong task achievement. It's clear you understand how to form and support an argument.
Structure
Your ability to logically structure your essay, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion is commendable, enhancing the reader's understanding and engagement.
Flow and Connectivity
The coherence between your paragraphs and the cohesion of ideas within your argument are well-managed, using appropriate linking words to ensure flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: