IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a widely held perception that governments should spend
money
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 on other things,
instead
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 of exploring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
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 because it is a waste of
money
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. I personally believe that there are other important things to spend on rather than on
space
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exploration
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. One point which I believe is absolutely pivotal is the fact that there are a lot of problems on the
EArth
Correct your spelling
earth
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 related to the well-being of
people
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, and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 of the planet.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it would be way more sensible to spend
money
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 on the
decease
Correct your spelling
decrease
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 of regions where
people
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 suffer from famine and various kinds of diseases
,
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apply
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 or
improve make
Verb problem
take
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 some steps in order to improve the environment. Adding
further
Linking Words
 credibility to the statement brings to an idea of the fact that even if companies and governments spend
money
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 on
space
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exploration
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 in order
colonize
Fix the infinitive
to colonize
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 other habitable planets, there is a high probability that
colonized
Correct article usage
the colonized
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 planet will be in the same condition as the Earth after a certain period of time. And
due to
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this
Linking Words
reason
Add a comma
reason,
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 it seems pointless to pollute another habitable planet and spend quite a lot of
money
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 on it. Turning to the other side of the argument
space
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exploration
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 may give more information about the galaxy and about other factors that we are not aware of yet. What I mean by
this
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 is that science and especially
space
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hid
Wrong verb form
hides
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 a lot of information that
people
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 need to know in order to improve their capabilities.
To sum up
Linking Words
, some
people
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 believe that
space
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exploration
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 is a waste of
money
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, and
instead
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
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it government should spend
money
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 on other things. Personally, I believe that spending
money
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 on current problems that there are on the Earth is way better
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 spending the same amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on
space
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exploration
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.

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Language Use
You've presented a well-structured argument which clearly outlines your viewpoint throughout the essay. To enhance your score further, consider integrating more complex sentence structures and varying your vocabulary to demonstrate a wider range of language skills.
Task Response
While your main points are supported, incorporating more detailed examples and evidence would strengthen your argument and provide a more persuasive case for your viewpoint.
Introduction and Conclusion
You've successfully introduced and concluded your essay, framing your argument effectively. For improvement, ensure that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance in a compelling manner.
Position and Clarity
Your essay maintains a clear position throughout, which speaks to your strong task achievement. It's clear you understand how to form and support an argument.
Structure
Your ability to logically structure your essay, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion is commendable, enhancing the reader's understanding and engagement.
Flow and Connectivity
The coherence between your paragraphs and the cohesion of ideas within your argument are well-managed, using appropriate linking words to ensure flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
What to do next:
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