IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some feel governments should invest in preserving(เก็บรักษา) minority languages, while others feel this is not a good use of resources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#feel #governments #minority #languages #resources
People around the world have many different cultures
such
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
language
 ,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 else. Growing up in different ways and
uses
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 local
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 minority
languages
, Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
governments feel that should invest in preserving minority
languages
,
while
another one
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 feel
this
 is not a good idea to use
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
this
 resources. I strongly disagree with
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 above statement. First point, if we
would
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
preserving
Wrong verb form
preserve
show examples
languages
 from small countries, it
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be a sad story to tell
another new generations
Replace the adjective
another new generation
other new generations
show examples
 about
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
why our host
language
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 gone.The local
language
 is going to be just the legend, which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not provided
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
this
 moment. Another one, the
lacal
Correct your spelling
local
languages
 ,which
are belong
Change the verb form
belong
show examples
 to the minor countries
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
means we have
multiculture
Correct your spelling
multicultural
multi culture
 from
surround
Correct your spelling
around
show examples
 the world. It
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 like we have more
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
show examples
 from
this
 option.
In addition
, different
languages
 are so charming that not only show us
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how we have
revolution
Add an article
a revolution
show examples
 to the present but
also
 show we still keep it and still
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 it .
May be
Correct your spelling
Maybe
show examples
 people from tiny countries can speak more than two
languages
 it
look
Change the verb form
looks
show examples
 like we have more
function
Fix the agreement mistake
functions
show examples
 to speak to in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 and abroad. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
minority
languages
 from all country, which are use different
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
. And to suppose each other we should
preserving
Wrong verb form
preserve
show examples
 all minor
language
.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and coherence by logically organizing your ideas and making sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use connectors and transitional phrases effectively.
task achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly by providing detailed examples and explaining how they support your argument.
language
Focus on the precision and variety of your language to avoid repetition and enhance your argument's impact. Consider using a broader range of vocabulary and grammatical structures.
language
Revisit grammar and spelling to avoid errors that could distract from your message. Consistency in verb tenses and accurate use of Articles and Pronouns is crucial.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views on the issue and provides your own opinion, aligning with the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your overall structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good for organizing your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: