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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart shows the proportion of renewable energy in total energy supply in 4 countries from 1997 to 2010.

The chart shows the proportion of renewable energy in total energy supply in 4 countries from 1997 to 2010.
#proportion #energy #countries
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The table graph demonstrates the information about renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 in the total
energy
Use synonyms
 supply in 4 different countries
such
Linking Words
 as Australia, Sweden,
Iceland
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, and
Turkey
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 in the period from 1997 to 2010. As it can be seen from the graph, the biggest part of renewable
energy
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 has
Iceland
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 during all period.
However
Linking Words
,
Turkey
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has a large amount of renewable
energy
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 in total. Unfortunately, the smallest percentage of renewable
energy
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has
Verb problem
is in
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 Australia and at the same rate
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the situation in Sweden.
Overall
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, in 1997 the highest result of renewable
energy
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 was
Iceland
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 reaching the mark of 45 per
cent
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. A little bit less was the trend in
Turkey
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, which reached nearly 30 per
cent
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.
Also
Linking Words
, the proportion of renewable
energy
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 has increased rapidly in
Iceland
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 for 13 years.
Moreover
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, the trend in
Turkey
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 had some fluctuations but had kept a position of no less than 34 per
cent
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. As for Sweden, the situation of renewable
energy
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 has grown twice since 1997.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the trend of renewable
energy
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 in Australia has decreased slowly and got down to the point of the lowest position of 40 per
cent
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 in the chart. In conclusion, countries tried to develop and include more renewable
energy
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 in total
energy
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, with
a
Correct article usage
the
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 purpose of saving our environment and predicting climate change. But all countries made it in their own way.
Submitted by yuliakozhevnik13 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, iceland, turkey, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • renewable energy
  • total energy supply
  • percentage
  • overall
  • changed
  • increases
  • decreases
  • fluctuating
  • trend
  • highest
  • lowest
  • significant
  • commitment
  • sustainability
  • environmental protection
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