IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 word

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 word
#bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons #word
The bar chart illustrates many changes in the proportion of
people
 who were born either in
Australia
 or outside
Australia
 living in urban, rural and towns from 1995 to 2010.
Overall
, In both years,
people
 who were born outside of
Australia
 lived in
cities
 which is the highest than rural areas and towns,
To begin
 with, in 1995 most of the
people
 who were born in
Australia
 lived in
cities
 which reached around 50%
while
, others were below 40%.
Additionally
,
people
 who were born outside
Australia
 were the same as
people
 born in
Australia
 60% in
cities
 and 40% in rural areas and towns below 20%.
On the other hand
, in 2010 the highest number of
people
 who were born in
Australia
 inhabited
cities
 around 65%
while
 the remaining were below 20%.
However
, most
people
 who were born outside
Australia
 lived in
cities
 80%
while
 the remaining were below 20%.
Submitted by amotoh10 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 68%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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