In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

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It is undeniable that civil developments mostly occur in big

cities

Use synonyms

worldwide. Job markets are expanding

according to

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the economic upturn.

As a result

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, people who live in rural areas tend to relocate to the

cities

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since they are seeking

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

more job opportunities.

Consequently

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, the population in the

countryside

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decreases significantly.

This

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essay will elaborate on the reasons why I think that

this

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is a negative development.

To begin

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with, the limitation of residences in the

cities

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causes higher home prices. There are many workers who receive minimum wages and work in the metropolitan area. If they cannot afford the living costs in the

cities

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, they have to lower their life quality which comes with the risks of unhealthy lifestyles.

For example

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, some people choose to live in small-shared rooms to save their money.

As a result

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, they don’t have their private spaces which can reflect in

the

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their

show examples

mental health.

In addition

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, local businesses in the

countryside

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will not be able to operate if there are no demands from customers.

Moreover

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, the

countryside

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will be quieter than

what

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

it was. It will be harder for entrepreneurs to initiate something attractive and interesting as well.

For instance

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, if you want to open a cosmetics shop for teenagers, it will be difficult to find them.

To sum up

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, the moving of people from rural areas to the

cities

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has many issues. It can affect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people’s health either physically or mentally.

Furthermore

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, the situation in the

countryside

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will get worse

due to

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the lack of purchase demands. As

such

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, I

considered

Wrong verb form

consider

show examples

that

this

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is a negative development

due to

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the two reasons above.

Submitted by Punpun on Sun May 12 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay well. However, the introduction could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that more explicitly states your position.

coherence cohesion

Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that sentences within paragraphs flow logically from one to the next.

task achievement

Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The essay could benefit from better linking words and phrases to improve the flow and connection between ideas.

task achievement

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay and reiterates your stance on the issue.

task achievement

You have addressed the prompt well by examining both the economic and social impacts of rural depopulation.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, a growing number ofpeople with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Recent advances in medical science have resulted in increased life expectancy over the past few years. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some area of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at the night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

In today's world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some think that people should not change th9eir jobs while others think they should because it brings advantages for themselves, the company and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.