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Writing Samples
Band 5

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentages #meals #three #nutrients #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts demonstrate how three
damage
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damaged
show examples
 nutrients in case of excessive consumption have the ratios in daily meals.
Overall
Linking Words
,
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat have their biggest shares in
dinner
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, but
snacks
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 are the meal type which has the most added
sugar
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.
Breakfast
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 has the lowest rates of saturated fat and added
sugar
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,
while
Linking Words
 it is one of the lowest meal types that has
sodium
Use synonyms
. The largest share belongs to
dinner
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, with 43%,
while
Linking Words
breakfast
Use synonyms
 and
snacks
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 share the same percentage, 16%.
Lunch
Use synonyms
 has twice the
sodium
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 of
breakfast
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 and
snacks
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.
Dinner
Use synonyms
 has the largest share in terms of having saturated fat,
as well as
Linking Words
sodium
Use synonyms
. The second place for consisting of
sodium
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 is owned by
lunch
Use synonyms
 with 26%.
Snacks
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 and
breakfast
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 are 5% and 10% less than
lunch
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
sodium
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 and saturated fat are the most used
nutritions
Replace the word
nutrients
show examples
 in
dinner
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, added
sugar
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, which is another unhealthy, accounts for 42% of
snacks
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 with the highest ratio. It comprises almost a quarter of
dinner
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.
Breakfast
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 has the lowest percentage of added
sugar
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, coming after
lunch
Use synonyms
 which has 19%.
Submitted by smd1212 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, dinner, snacks, sugar, breakfast, lunch with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratios" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average percentages
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • meal
  • typical meals
  • categories
  • high percentage
  • distribution
  • patterns
  • trends
  • nutrient-dense
  • data
  • comparison
  • summarize
  • reporting main features
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