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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#three #show #changes #uk #school #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The figures illustrate the amount of money which was spent by a
school
Use synonyms
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 annually in a
three decades
Correct your spelling
three-decade
show examples
 period from 1981 to 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the biggest
Use synonyms
shares
Fix the agreement mistake
share
show examples
 of
spenditure
Correct your spelling
expenditure
 of the
school
Use synonyms
 was
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
teachers's
Remove the s
teachers'
show examples
 wages
while
Linking Words
 the
Insurance
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
section
Correct your spelling
sector
show examples
 had the lowest
shares
Use synonyms
 among other categories. First of all, in 1981 the highest amount of money which was spent by
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
, was related
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
teachers
Change noun form
teachers'
teacher's
show examples
 and staffs salaries, with 40% and 28% respectively and
these two
Change the determiner
this two section
these two sections
show examples
section
Use synonyms
 had 68%
shares
Use synonyms
 of annual
spenditure
Correct your spelling
expenditure
 in total
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
insurance
Correct article usage
the insurance
show examples
 part with a minor
porportion
Correct your spelling
proportion
, about 2% was the lowest.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 1991
salaries
Correct article usage
the salaries
show examples
 of
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced a 4%
increament
Correct your spelling
increase in
totally
Change the word
total
show examples
 where
Use synonyms
teachers
Change noun form
teachers'
teacher's
show examples
 wages went up about
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
ten per cent.
However
Linking Words
, the
insurance
Use synonyms
 saw a minor growth
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 1%
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
5
Correct article usage
a 5
show examples
%
decreased
Change the form of the verb
decrease
show examples
 in total
shares
Use synonyms
 of other resources. Second of all, in 2001
while
Linking Words
wages
Correct article usage
the wages
show examples
 of
school
Use synonyms
proffesors
Correct your spelling
professors
 had the biggest share in comparison to other parts with 5% less than half, the furniture and equipment
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced a dramatic rise and increased
less
Change preposition
by less
show examples
 than a quarter , from 5% to 23% which took place of staffs salaries
shares
Use synonyms
 with only 15%.
Also
Linking Words
, the
insurance
Use synonyms
section
Use synonyms
 got tripled in that year
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
resources
Correct article usage
the resources
show examples
section
Use synonyms
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was about halved with 9% in total.
Submitted by ramtin.n1374 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, shares, teachers, insurance, section with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Annual spending
  • Expenditure categories
  • Allocation
  • Trend analysis
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Budget allocation strategy
  • Inflation-adjusted
  • Future implications
  • Educational institutions
  • Technological resources
  • Maintenance and operations
  • Comparative analysis
  • Fiscal management
  • Resource allocation
  • Strategic planning
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