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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information about the number of books rented in a British local library in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below gives information about the number of books rented in a British local library in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The supplied bar chart illustrates data about how many
books
Use synonyms
 were rented in Malton town library that was totally local in 2009. A glance at the graph reveals that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the most
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 were given
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 December and August,
While
Linking Words
 the minimum quantity was
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 February and March. In 2009,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the first six
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
 of
year
Add an article
the year
show examples
,there was a moderate change and the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 which was accessed in
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
 month was 6
books
Use synonyms
.(Which was the least
number
Use synonyms
 in
whole
Add an article
the whole
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
months
Fix the agreement mistake
month
show examples
).Only in two
months
Add a comma
months,
show examples
 the average of
preparing
Replace the word
preparation
show examples
 was under 10 and three of them
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 just over 13
books
Use synonyms
. For the second half of the year,the
number
Use synonyms
 of
books
Use synonyms
 fluctuated between July to
december
Change the capitalization
December
show examples
 in 2009.interestingly 20
books
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 provided
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 August and for the
last
Linking Words
 month,the average of renting was 21.(Which was the highest amount over the period.)

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words books, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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