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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Task 1 The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Task 1 The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #population #three #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart below illustrates the percentage of people aged 65 and above in the
USA
Use synonyms
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
 over the course of 80 years from 1940 to 2020, and it gives a future forecast for 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that in spite of some fluctuations, the proportion in these countries
are
Verb problem
has
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 witnessed an upward trend. By the end of the
period
Use synonyms
, the allocation of elderly aged 65 and over in
Japan
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 is predicted to become the highest figure among the
countries
Change noun form
country's
countries'
show examples
 studies.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
USA
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 topped the chart at 9% of its population aged 65 and above in 1940
while
Linking Words
 the
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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 in
Sweden
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 and
Japan
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 were 7% and 9% respectively. The life expectancy in the
USA
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 rose to 15%
then
Linking Words
 remained a static
period
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 at under 15% for the next four decades.
The
Correct article usage
A
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 similar pattern during the first forty years in
Sweden
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 can be observed. Figure in
Sweden
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 increased by 7% and surpassed
its
Correct pronoun usage
what
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 the
USA
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 accounted for,
then
Linking Words
 reached at 20%between 2000 and 2020 before being expected to go beyond 25%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 aged 65 and over in
Japan
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 decreased slightly by 2% in two decades
started
Change the form of the verb
starting
show examples
 from 1940. Since 1960,
Japan
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 had experienced a plateau in the next twenty years before reaching a stable increase
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 10%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the value in
Japan
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 is evaluated to rank first in the chart by experiencing a skyrocket from 10% to 25%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
 surveyed.
Submitted by vsunnloe147 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words usa, sweden, japan, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • proportion
  • elderly
  • significant increase
  • surpass
  • gradual increase
  • crucial period
  • rapid increase
  • healthcare advancements
  • lower birth rates
  • projections
  • adjustments in social services
  • demographic dynamics
  • lifestyle choices
  • trends
  • notable
  • potentially
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