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Band 4

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g goods, service, news ). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

#people #e #g #goods #service #news #development
Recently, human prefer
the
Correct article usage
a
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 fast-paced lifestyle that their desires can be adapted immediately.
This
 writer holds a belief that
this
 way of living appears because of the development of modern technology, bringing some positive sides to humans' lives.
To begin
 with some main reasons, it can be noticed that almost of consumers prefer automatic services to get a
high
Replace the word
highly
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 effective result within
Correct article usage
the short-term
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short-term
Correct your spelling
short term
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.
In other words
, in the hustle and bustle pace of
life
, people nowadays tend to have
general
Correct article usage
a general
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 mental that being afraid of not catching up with the
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
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 of the globe instantly so they can be replaced by artificial intelligence.
Thus
, more and more people frequently
updating
Wrong verb form
update
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 news to fit in with the
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
show examples
 of their works, creating a faster environment compared to in the past. Moving onto its positive effects, it can be acknowledged that some aspects have profound changes
such
 as increasing efficiency and accessibility to goods and services, which can enhance productivity and satisfaction in humans'
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. To explain, the quality of manufacturing products will increase by the usefulness of automatic machines, without waiting
to
Change preposition
for
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response
Correct article usage
a response
show examples
.
For instance
, creating a pen in the traditional way took a
long-term
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long term
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while
 nowadays, workers produce more than
thousand
Change the article
a thousand
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 ones at the same time.
Consequently
, receiving results immediately improves the living standard in many fields
such
 as industry or education. Taking everything into account, it can be seen that living in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 busy and high-speech
life
 brings lots of
advatanges
Correct your spelling
advantages
 for humans'
life
.
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Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, as this adds depth and clarity to your argument.
Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. A concise conclusion summarizing your main points would enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing clearer and more logical transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and using linking words effectively to improve the cohesion of your writing.
Task Achievement
You effectively addressed the topic, presenting both reasons for the trend towards instant gratification and its positive aspects.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is commendable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • digital platforms
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • precious commodity
  • e-commerce platforms
  • 24/7 news cycles
  • accessibility
  • consumer behavior
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • delayed gratification
  • pressure
  • advent
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