IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g goods, service, news ). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

#people #e #g #goods #service #news #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, human prefer
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fast-paced lifestyle that their desires can be adapted immediately.
This
Linking Words
 writer holds a belief that
this
Linking Words
 way of living appears because of the development of modern technology, bringing some positive sides to humans' lives.
To begin
Linking Words
 with some main reasons, it can be noticed that almost of consumers prefer automatic services to get a
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 effective result within
Correct article usage
the short-term
show examples
short-term
Correct your spelling
short term
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, in the hustle and bustle pace of
life
Use synonyms
, people nowadays tend to have
general
Correct article usage
a general
show examples
 mental that being afraid of not catching up with the
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
 of the globe instantly so they can be replaced by artificial intelligence.
Thus
Linking Words
, more and more people frequently
updating
Wrong verb form
update
show examples
 news to fit in with the
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
show examples
 of their works, creating a faster environment compared to in the past. Moving onto its positive effects, it can be acknowledged that some aspects have profound changes
such
Linking Words
 as increasing efficiency and accessibility to goods and services, which can enhance productivity and satisfaction in humans'
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. To explain, the quality of manufacturing products will increase by the usefulness of automatic machines, without waiting
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
response
Correct article usage
a response
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, creating a pen in the traditional way took a
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
while
Linking Words
 nowadays, workers produce more than
thousand
Change the article
a thousand
show examples
 ones at the same time.
Consequently
Linking Words
, receiving results immediately improves the living standard in many fields
such
Linking Words
 as industry or education. Taking everything into account, it can be seen that living in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 busy and high-speech
life
Use synonyms
 brings lots of
advatanges
Correct your spelling
advantages
 for humans'
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, as this adds depth and clarity to your argument.
Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. A concise conclusion summarizing your main points would enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing clearer and more logical transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and using linking words effectively to improve the cohesion of your writing.
Task Achievement
You effectively addressed the topic, presenting both reasons for the trend towards instant gratification and its positive aspects.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is commendable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • digital platforms
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • precious commodity
  • e-commerce platforms
  • 24/7 news cycles
  • accessibility
  • consumer behavior
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • delayed gratification
  • pressure
  • advent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: