of different outlay in four important facilities in the United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
,
Canada
Use synonyms
, the United Kingdom and
Japan
Use synonyms
in 2009
Body paragraph 1
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
the graph
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
the highest proportion of expenditure was housing ,
whereas
Linking Words
the lowest percentage was health care . a fluctuation was observed in all countries for every expenditure
Body paragraph 2
Moving to a
detailed
Replace the word
detail
show examples
, in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom ,
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
percentage of outlay was housing , with the farmer and the latter being responsible for approximately 25 and 23 . the lowest share of outlay was health care in the United Kingdom ,
however
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
was clothing in another country
Conclusion
With regard to
Japan
Use synonyms
and
Canada
Use synonyms
, in food categories , the highest proportion
observed
Add a missing verb
was observed
show examples
in
Japan
Use synonyms
(about 23%) ,
nevertheless
Linking Words
the share of
Canada
Use synonyms
accounted for 15 % . In transportation
categories
Add a comma
categories,
show examples
there was a big difference between
Canada
Use synonyms
and
Japan
Use synonyms
by 10 %
quluzadenurlan107
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Vocabulary & Grammar
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance clarity and avoid repetition.
Task Achievement
Work on developing more detailed paragraphs with clear main ideas supported by specific examples, especially in the detailed analysis section.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure there is a clear overview that summarises the main trends, comparison or differences, without the need for specific data.
Grammar
Check for grammatical accuracy and try to correct the minor errors for a better flow of information.
Introduction & Overview
You provided a clear introduction and attempted to give an overall analysis of the data, which is good for task achievement.
Structural Organization
The essay structure is recognizable with attempts to organize it into paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
There is debate over why society started to care about their health and body, while a few years ago, individuals didn't try to improve their health, nowadays, being in good physical shape and reducing the amount of junk food is very widespread in gaining popularity.
In recent years, there has been a noticeable increase in the number of individuals discussing the effectiveness of recycling laws and their impact on various aspects of our lives. Some argue that implementing legal requirements for recycling has significantly increased recycling rates. However, critics strongly oppose this view and argue that such regulations have placed undue burdens on citizens and local governments. In this essay, it will be argued that recycling legislation has indeed become necessary to improve waste management practices.
Nowadays, due to technological improvements, children spend hours on their mobile devices. The following essay will evaluate the reasons for this phenomenon and discuss why it has many damaging consequences.
Zoos can be quite controversial amongst animal lovers. While some people think that zoos are useful in some ways, I side with those who feel that zoos are inhumane and should therefore be shut down.