Today, more and more people want thing instantly (eg: goods, service, news) why is this? Is it a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, many
crowd
would like to act Change to a plural noun
crowds
everything
immediately Change preposition
on everything
such
as education, politic
, economy. It comes from the demand of saving time Fix the agreement mistake
politics
as well as
effort in everything. As I see it, it is the
positive development about the high speed of dealing Correct article usage
a
all
Change preposition
with all
of
Change preposition
apply
Add an article
the thing
thing
.
It is crucial for society to understand that innovations Fix the agreement mistake
things
such
as the internet, mobile phones or social networks all cause a lack of attention span in users. This
is caused by community
getting used to short content and information in today's digital world. Correct article usage
the community
Thus
, by not wanting to patiently long for things, community
tend to want those values instantly and would potentially get mad when do not get a proper service, With the development of that trend, humans now will always want things urgently and will not appreciate the entire value of what they are receiving.
What I mean is because of always wanting their benefits to be fast and rapid, those things will be seen as ordinary but not as valuable as those you have to work hard and wait for. Correct article usage
the community
Therefore
, consumers are less likely to be grateful for that value. For example
, you will be much more proud of yourself if you get a degree of education by hard-working learning rather than going to class not paying attention and cheating in exams or illegally buying one.
In conclusion, crowd
increasingly prefer everything immediately Correct article usage
the crowd
finish
. It can bring many advantages Wrong verb form
finished
as well as
the risk of dependence on the easy to finish
and Add a hyphen
easy-to-finish
do without
the supervisionAdd a hyphen
do-without
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complete response
You have provided a reasonable response to the prompt, discussing both the reasons for the demand for instant gratification and presenting the positives and negatives. However, try to elaborate more on the pros and cons of this trend to make your argument more balanced and comprehensive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your main points are clear, but some ideas, such as the impact on people's appreciation for value, need further development. Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points clearly.
relevant specific examples
Use more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, mention specific technologies or industries where the demand for instant results is prominent.
logical structure
Work on your transitions between paragraphs and ideas to create a smoother flow. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purposes. However, your conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing your main points more clearly.
supported main points
Provide more supporting details for your main points. Explain how exactly short content and information lead to a lack of appreciation for value, and explore the consequences of this trend.
complete response
You have clearly stated your position regarding the demand for instant gratification, and your argument is understandable.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in maintaining clarity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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