In many places, people's lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?

#places #people #lifestyles #relationships #developments

technological advancements have influenced

peoples

Change noun form

people's

show examples

ways of living in different forms. In various cities and countries,

this

drastic development of living standards

affecting

Wrong verb form

affects

show examples

human relationships. In

this

essay, I will discuss the benefits of an advanced lifestyle that

also

involve

Correct subject-verb agreement

involves

show examples

drawbacks. The major advantage of technological growth is that

people

from distant places can be in contact, which strengthens bonds among

people

such

as families and friends. Messaging applications,

for instance

, WhatsApp,

Instagram

Correct word choice

and Instagram

show examples

, are very cost-effective and easy to use by

people

to communicate, which results in removing the virtual gap among them.

Furthermore

, anything interesting can be found quickly and easily on the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

. It has numerous other essential roles for

examples

Fix the agreement mistake

example

show examples

, education , communications,

bussiness

Correct your spelling

business

, news and so on.

On the other hand

this

fast pace of modern life can result in mental stress and might encourage more individualistic

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, which would weaken family bonds. Spending maximum time on digital gadgets causes various health issues,

such

as weakening

eye sight

Correct your spelling

eyesight

show examples

. Working

people

nowadays are very busy with their work pressure and use different mediums for online food purchases, which

consequently

affects their health. In conclusion, advanced technology and lifestyle maintain their negative and positive aspects, if they are helpful for communication by virtual means but

also

diminish the real emotional interaction time and

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

lead to a range of health problems.

Submitted by mayamayurakshi636 on Tue May 14 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the topic but there are areas that need to be elaborated. For instance, the discussion about the negative aspects of technological advancements lacks specific examples and details. Including more real-life examples can strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains some awkward phrasing and grammatical errors, which can affect readability. For example, 'weakening eye sight' should be 'weakened eyesight.' Make sure to proofread your essay to correct such errors.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion effectively.

task achievement

The use of specific examples such as WhatsApp and Instagram to illustrate points about technological advancements is helpful and makes the argument more tangible.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

223 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

technological advancements
communication
connected
long distances
busy work lives
interaction time
emotional bond
individualistic behavior
weakened family ties
fast pace of modern life
stress
mental health issues
overall family well-being
flexible work arrangements
remote work
quality time
educational activities
recreational activities
enhance
new experiences

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In many places, people's lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?

Word Count

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

Tourism generates revenue therefore it should be promoted discuss the statement and give solutions .

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

in many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first month after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?