Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people think it is necessary, but others are of the opinion that it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#directors #organizations #salaries #employees #people

Directors

have high status in the company. Bosses of big organizations get high salaries for their employees. The majority of people believe it is necessary, but other people think

that is

unfair. I believe that

directors

receive a well-deserved income.

To begin

with, the low workers' salaries can lead to large problems

such

as employee dissatisfaction. The employees start doing their

work

unwillingly. The employees will form negative opinions about their

work

This

can cause mental problems, which can lead to serious problems

such

as depression and apathy. And

this

problem can increase the rate of unemployment.

On the other hand

, the bosses make a greater contribution to the development of their company.

Moreover

, the

directors

have a lot of responsibility and duties for the organization. They play the main role in their business.

Also

, the bosses have a lot of experience in the

work

sphere.

And the

Correct word choice

The

show examples

wardens conduct meetings by signing important contracts with other influential companies, which proves the high income of the chiefs. In conclusion, I think that the supervisor

recieve

Correct your spelling

receives

well-deserved wages because the

directors

have more duties and a large amount of responsibility for their

work

business.

Submitted by Hilola Sotimkulova on Tue May 14 2024

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General

Ensure your introduction and conclusion are concise and clearly outline your opinion. Avoid redundancy.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use more linking phrases and transitional words to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points and make your arguments more compelling.

Language Accuracy

Check for minor grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for greater clarity.

Task Achievement

The essay effectively presents both views and provides a valid opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure of the essay is logical, with clear paragraphs for each point.

Coherence and Cohesion

There is a suitable balance between discussing both sides of the argument and giving a personal opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

193 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people think it is necessary, but others are of the opinion that it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, most children prefer to spend several hours playing with electronic devices over doing more traditional leisure activities. What problem does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions?

Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should bot be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamor and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?