IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Your manager has asked you to arrange a party for a colleague leaving the company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter suggest a suitable date and time for the party recommend a venue propose the food and entertainment options that should be available.

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From a wide variety of emotions, there
many
Add a missing verb
are many
show examples
 positive and negative. Happiness is what comes up when we think about the positive. But do we have a choice to feel happy or not?
To begin
Linking Words
 with, nowadays it is so popular to talk about money and that it can bring contentment to our lives. With money, you can buy everything you want and you will feel contented just for a moment. You can come from a rich or from a poor family, and it does not matter how you look at the world.
Secondly
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, health plays a crucial role. It is so valuable to have healthy people you love around you, especially when they do not feel any pain or frustration. It is so hard to be positive when you are sick, but it is definitely our choice how to look at the situation.
Therefore
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, it can influence the way we look at life.
In addition
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, the bad attitude of your parents can stay in your way. Some people were raised being constantly abused and feeling unhappy, but,
nevertheless
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, they managed to experience the emotions which they wanted.
To sum up
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, I believe that we are born with feelings and emotions that will change throughout life. And happiness is a choice,
moreover
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, it is something we develop by ourselves.

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single idea per paragraph
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single, clear idea to enhance clarity.
logical structure
Improve the logical structure by using transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
greeting and closing
The letter has a clear greeting and closing, which provides a strong framework to the response.
suitable writing tone
The tone is suitable and polite, which is appropriate for addressing a manager.
complete response
The letter responds to all parts of the task, suggesting a date and time, recommending a venue, and proposing food and entertainment.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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