Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places?
Nowadays,
people
aim to discover challanging
regions Correct your spelling
challenging
instead
of ordinary places
. However
, in this
report, I will go through the merits and demerits of that.
Visiting such
places
is exciting, interesting, educational, helpful, and economical; as a consequence
, many humans prefer to go there.However
, there are many advantages of
visiting Change preposition
to
such
places
. For further
explaining, visiting these places
is a useful way to discover a variety of cultures, and how people
used to live. Also
, a lot of posts on social media show that these areas
are usually cheap or free, so they are accessible for
either poor or rich Change preposition
to
people
. Additionally
, some tourists acknowledge that they feel more excited, joyful, happy, and interested in these areas
because in these extraordinary conditions
they can face new experiences and see unique landscapes. Add a comma
conditions,
Also
, a lot of students admit that learning practically is easier than studying theoretically, so they prefer to go to these places
and learn by trying and experiencing instead
of concentrating on their lessons.
Although
the points mentioned above are influencing there are reverse points that hold equal influence. To illustrate that, these regions are dangerous, boring, and difficult to reach. In other words
, these facilities are usually abandoned, empety
, and far away from the living Correct your spelling
empty
empathy
areas
, so going there is extremely risky. In addition
, reports capture that adapting to these areas
is difficult, and many people
failed
to adjust to the conditions there. Wrong verb form
fail
Besides
that, finding suitable transportation to reach these regions is extremely hard. Also
, providing healthcare in these areas
is limited.
In conclusion, on the one hand, visiting places
where conditions are difficult is fun, entertaining, and useful. On the other hand
, there are some disadvantages such
as the risks, boredom, and lack in
transportation.Change preposition
of
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task achievement
While the essay provides a clear response to the prompt, the introduction can be more explicitly tied to the topic. Make sure the introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, clearly stating the main points to be explored.
task achievement
The main points are generally clear but can benefit from further development. Adding more detailed and specific examples will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. For instance, mentioning specific cultural practices or distinct landscapes encountered in deserts and Antarctica would enrich the essay.
coherence cohesion
It is important to ensure each paragraph develops the topic sentence with fully elaborated and connected supporting details. Try to avoid minor inaccuracies, such as misspellings or awkward expressions, to improve coherence and cohesion. For instance, when you say 'these facilities are usually abandoned,' it might be clearer to refer to 'these regions are often remote and uninhabited.'
coherence cohesion
Transitions between ideas and sections should be smoother. For example, use transition words like 'Moreover,' 'On the contrary,' or 'Furthermore' to better connect your ideas and guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages thoroughly, showcasing a balanced view of the topic.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, providing a clear closing statement.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured into clear paragraphs, each addressing a distinct point. This aids in the coherence of your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example