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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The two maps below show the site of a college in 2006 and the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps below show the site of a college in 2006 and the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #maps #show #site #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The two plan views illustrate the school premises of Lynwich
college
Capitalize word
College
show examples
 in 2006 and today.
Overall
Linking Words
, new infrastructures have been built inside the
area
Use synonyms
 to provide
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 studying environment for students. Other than that,
centralized
Correct article usage
a centralized
show examples
 road network provide ease of access
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the various buildings which
lacks
Wrong verb form
was lacking
show examples
 in the past. Looking into details, new bus stops
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been constructed adjacent to the main road which occupy some land space of the school. The car park has been redesigned in
such
Linking Words
 a way that some
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been allocated for bikes.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
centralized
Correct article usage
a centralized
show examples
 cafeteria is standing to serve all the people inside to buy their necessities. It is interesting to note that,
although
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college buildings 1 and 2 are
sill
Correct your spelling
still
show examples
 there,
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 trees in South West
area
Use synonyms
 of the land
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been cut
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to shift the library to provide
acess
Correct your spelling
access
 from both of the school buildings. Now there is a sports
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 erected in the
Northen
Correct your spelling
northern
 part of the
area
Use synonyms
, in between the
play ground
Correct your spelling
playground
show examples
 and the carpark to facilitate more pupils to engage in
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 activities.
Submitted by wm.asanka.sandaruwan on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "provide" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • underwent significant changes
  • consisted of
  • large open space
  • utilized
  • relocated
  • limited facilities and amenities
  • wider range of facilities and amenities
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