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some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #job #career #life #change #jobs
Some individuals are of the opinion that the people who have long-term committed jobs, can satisfied than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others who frequently change their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. From my perspective,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly opposed
this
 opinion because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
switching careers can offer a broader range of experiences and the opportunity to learn new skills. Concerning the initial idea, choosing a job early and staying with it can lead to deep expertise, strong relationships, and potentially steady
career
 progression. It may
also
 provide a sense of stability and security, which can be satisfying for many individuals.
However
, in
this
 day and age, society is more and more developing and
ganerating
Correct your spelling
generating
 a lot of
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
 for youngsters so that feeling
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 in the
continuti
Correct your spelling
continuity
continuation
continued
 and depth of a single
career
 path
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not an effective approach to settle down.
For example
, in
Janpan
Correct your spelling
Japan
, because of a
long-teram
Correct your spelling
long-term
committed
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commitment
show examples
with
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to
show examples
 mass
produce
Replace the word
production
show examples
 of old
worker
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workers
show examples
, after the
bankrupt
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bankruptcy
show examples
 of a company, many
worker
Change to a plural noun
workers
show examples
 was unemployed and stayed alive
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 scanty retire-salary.
As a result
,
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
 a job early and
keep
Verb problem
apply
show examples
doing can cause an unemployment risk in the future. As can be seen
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is beneficial for the employee to have a switching careers
such
 as collecting a range of experiences and the chance to learn more
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
 in working.
This
 can lead to a satisfying
career
 for those who value diversity in their work life and personal growth. Take Billionaire Elon Musk as a particular example, he is a people who have a lot of talent in many
sector
Change to a plural noun
sectors
show examples
. In 1995, he found the
paypal
Correct your spelling
PayPal
Paypal
 wallet online.
Afterthat
Correct your spelling
After that
, in 2015, SpaceX
comapany
Correct your spelling
company
 which supply the
serice ralated
Correct your spelling
services related
 to space, was
establish
Wrong verb form
established
show examples
 by him.
Thus
, Challenge yourself to experience many different jobs can bring many
achievement
Change to a plural noun
achievements
show examples
 in our lives. All in all,
career
 satisfaction is highly personal and can be influenced by a variety of factors, including individual goals, values, and circumstances.
However
, despite the advantages involved
of keep
Verb problem
in
show examples
 doing one
jobs
Change to a singular noun
job
show examples
 in
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
peroid
Correct your spelling
period
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am of the opinion that frequently
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
 can lead the success.
Submitted by bsphongplg on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the viewpoint and provides a clear outline of your argument. This helps to set the stage for your essay effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and spelling. For instance, words like 'ganerating' should be 'generating,' and 'Janpan' should be 'Japan.' This will enhance readability and coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include more linking phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help in maintaining a logical flow throughout your essay.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples or data to back up your points. For instance, discussing broader statistics or studies can make your argument more compelling.
Task Achievement
You have a clear understanding of both perspectives and provide logical reasoning to support your viewpoint.
Task Achievement
Your essay contains relevant examples to illustrate your points, which is crucial for making a compelling argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, providing a structured approach to your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main points are supported with examples, contributing to the overall effectiveness of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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