‘For all children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write.’ How far do you agree with this suggestion? How important is it for a child to learn to play a musical instrument, in your view?

#‘for #children #ability #instrument #suggestion #child

Music

is a blessing that can align perfectly with

children

's reading and writing

skills

. I strongly agree with

this

because learning a musical instrument can be a full

brain

exercise and it is highly important for the cognitive development and self-confidence among them.

This

essay will delve deeper into my agreed state and the importance of

such

approach

Correct article usage

an approach

show examples

in the impending paragraphs. Musical proficiency has myriad reasons why it should be taught to

children

along with

educational

skills

. I have a strong opinion that as

music

education has a huge impact on the working of

children

’s

brain

Fix the agreement mistake

brains

show examples

, it is a welcoming approach.

For example

World

Correct article usage

the World

show examples

Health Organisation, a

UK based

Add a hyphen

UK-based

show examples

Health Department, published in its annual report in March 2015 that 65% of

children

’s

brain

Fix the agreement mistake

brains

show examples

in the UK had been working highly fast since their parents allowed them to take part in

music

Because it

Correct word choice

show examples

is scientifically proven that during

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

musical activity, all parts of

brain

Add an article

the brain

show examples

start to respond and a multifold increase in their activities can easily be seen.

Therefore

this

process of

music

with

studies

can be very beneficial for

children

. Having said that,

music

studies

can have

equal

Add an article

an equal

the equal

show examples

impact

Change preposition

show examples

other

studies

since

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can assist

children

to develop

Change preposition

in developing

show examples

cognitive

skills

For example

, a painstaking survey conducted by The Guardian Newspaper in May 2016 stated that no sooner did

children

start to have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

knowledge of musical instruments than their grades in other subjects rose quickly and it was because they had to perform calculative steps to generate a good

music

. Though

music

learning seems different from

studies

, it still requires a high state of mental ability to make a productive outcome.

In addition

, after performing in front of many people,

children

can highly likely gain self-confidence

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. Where performing over a musical instrument ahead of

audience

Correct article usage

the audience

show examples

is not an easy task,

children

can over any kind of hesitation in

such

event

Correct article usage

an event

show examples

Hence

, it can

give

Verb problem

pave

show examples

the pavement for their sustainable development in the future as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stable citizens.

To conclude

, it is

unequivocal

Change the adjective

unequivocally

show examples

clear that the education of musical instruments

is has

Change the verb form

has

show examples

identical importance. Not only does it gear up the

brain

processes, but it can

also

helpful

Add a missing verb

be helpful

show examples

in the development of cognitive

skills

and self-assurance.

Submitted by Mrjit147 on Tue May 14 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay addresses all parts of the task and provides a complete response. To strengthen your argument, ensure that your main points are expanded in more detail and with a variety of perspectives.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear, but some sentences could be further refined for clarity. Consider breaking down complex sentences into simpler ones to avoid ambiguity.

task achievement

To enhance clarity, use complex structures without sacrificing the readability of your essay. This balance will improve the overall understanding of your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is generally well-structured, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To further improve, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to keep a logical flow.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are supported by examples and explained well, but adding more varied examples and perspectives could give your essay more depth.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-organized and follows a logical structure, making it easy to follow your argument.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples to support your main points, which helps to illustrate your argument effectively.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

372 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Films and computer games which contain violence are very popular. Some people believe they have a negative effect on society and so should be banned. Other people, however, say they are just harmless and help people to relax. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Thriller genre movies and online games that encompass aggression and graphic content have always been at the centre of popularity for many people. Whilst certain individuals claim that this content will produce negative results on the members of the societies and should be hindered, people with the opposite view content that they do not pose a threat to our society, but rather alleviate the audience's tension and stress. I personally uphold the view that undoubtedly, some people may get negatively impacted as a direct result of consuming this content, however, I am against a total ban since exerting partial restrictions is the more prudent choice.
5.5
band
in many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
In the contemporary epoch, the rate of population is increasing incredibly. Part of society believes that village areas can be utilized to build new homes while critics says that protection off these areas is more necessary. This discussion has sparked the controversy with advocates and critics both representing the valid arguments. I wholeheartedly accede that it is relentlessly important to protect village areas instead of constructing houses.
6.5
band
People born today can expect to live longer than people in previous generations. What are some of the positive and negative implications of this phenomenon? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Nowadays the life span became longer than throughout the entire existence of mankind. It's a very complicated question, what would overweight in the future, and what would have the greater impact on the human being - cons or pros of such life expectancy? In this essay, I'll try to see both points of view and estimate all the consequences.
5
band
Some cultures think old people are of higher value than the youth, while other cultures value the youth more. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Every community has it's own set of opinions and believes. Globalization has given us the opportunity to be with and to study the different sets of people around the world. Connected with different we get to know the many ways in which people view the world around us.
7
band
Some people think that punishment is the best way of teaching children to behave well. Others believe that it is better to reward children for good be haviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In the contemporary era, a growing number of individuals believe that punishment in educating children is the best way to make them obedient while others hold the idea that rewarding children is better. Personally, I am convinced that the combination of punishment and reward is the best way to teach children and this essay will explain both sides.

‘For all children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write.’ How far do you agree with this suggestion? How important is it for a child to learn to play a musical instrument, in your view?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Films and computer games which contain violence are very popular. Some people believe they have a negative effect on society and so should be banned. Other people, however, say they are just harmless and help people to relax. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some cultures think old people are of higher value than the youth, while other cultures value the youth more. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that punishment is the best way of teaching children to behave well. Others believe that it is better to reward children for good be haviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.