‘For all children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write.’ How far do you agree with this suggestion? How important is it for a child to learn to play a musical instrument, in your view?

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Music

Use synonyms

is a blessing that can align perfectly with

children

Use synonyms

's reading and writing

skills

Use synonyms

. I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

because learning a musical instrument can be a full

brain

Use synonyms

exercise and it is highly important for the cognitive development and self-confidence among them.

This

Linking Words

essay will delve deeper into my agreed state and the importance of

such

Linking Words

approach

Correct article usage

an approach

show examples

in the impending paragraphs. Musical proficiency has myriad reasons why it should be taught to

children

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along with

Linking Words

educational

skills

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. I have a strong opinion that as

music

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education has a huge impact on the working of

children

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’s

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brain

Fix the agreement mistake

brains

show examples

, it is a welcoming approach.

For example

Linking Words

World

Correct article usage

the World

show examples

Health Organisation, a

UK based

Add a hyphen

UK-based

show examples

Health Department, published in its annual report in March 2015 that 65% of

children

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’s

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brain

Fix the agreement mistake

brains

show examples

in the UK had been working highly fast since their parents allowed them to take part in

music

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Because it

Correct word choice

show examples

is scientifically proven that during

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

musical activity, all parts of

Use synonyms

brain

Add an article

the brain

show examples

start to respond and a multifold increase in their activities can easily be seen.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

process of

music

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with

studies

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can be very beneficial for

children

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. Having said that,

music

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studies

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can have

equal

Add an article

an equal

the equal

show examples

impact

Change preposition

show examples

other

studies

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since

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can assist

children

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to develop

Change preposition

in developing

show examples

cognitive

skills

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For example

Linking Words

, a painstaking survey conducted by The Guardian Newspaper in May 2016 stated that no sooner did

children

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start to have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

knowledge of musical instruments than their grades in other subjects rose quickly and it was because they had to perform calculative steps to generate a good

music

Use synonyms

. Though

music

Use synonyms

learning seems different from

studies

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, it still requires a high state of mental ability to make a productive outcome.

In addition

Linking Words

, after performing in front of many people,

children

Use synonyms

can highly likely gain self-confidence

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. Where performing over a musical instrument ahead of

audience

Correct article usage

the audience

show examples

is not an easy task,

children

Use synonyms

can over any kind of hesitation in

such

Linking Words

event

Correct article usage

an event

show examples

Hence

Linking Words

, it can

give

Verb problem

pave

show examples

the pavement for their sustainable development in the future as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stable citizens.

To conclude

Linking Words

, it is

unequivocal

Change the adjective

unequivocally

show examples

clear that the education of musical instruments

is has

Change the verb form

has

show examples

identical importance. Not only does it gear up the

brain

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processes, but it can

also

Linking Words

helpful

Add a missing verb

be helpful

show examples

in the development of cognitive

skills

Use synonyms

and self-assurance.

Mrjit147Tue May 14 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses all parts of the task and provides a complete response. To strengthen your argument, ensure that your main points are expanded in more detail and with a variety of perspectives.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear, but some sentences could be further refined for clarity. Consider breaking down complex sentences into simpler ones to avoid ambiguity.

task achievement

To enhance clarity, use complex structures without sacrificing the readability of your essay. This balance will improve the overall understanding of your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is generally well-structured, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To further improve, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to keep a logical flow.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are supported by examples and explained well, but adding more varied examples and perspectives could give your essay more depth.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-organized and follows a logical structure, making it easy to follow your argument.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples to support your main points, which helps to illustrate your argument effectively.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

372 words

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‘For all children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write.’ How far do you agree with this suggestion? How important is it for a child to learn to play a musical instrument, in your view?

School children should choose the subjects they study from a young age and stop doing subjects they find uninteresting.

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. although some of these chanes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this?

A lot of places on the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweighs its drawback?

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of traveling to a workplace every day. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working from home.