More money should be poured into teaching science rather than other subjects. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people
belive
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believe
show examples
that
goverenmints
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governments
government
should spend more cash
in
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on
show examples
scince
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science
since
lictures
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pictures
lectures
instead
of other materials, And I strongly agree for certain reasons.
Firstly
,
scince
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science
since
licture
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literature
requred
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requires
more training teachers and
in
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on
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand more
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
lab
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labs
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to do
experienments
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experience
.
Scince
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Science
brings to our life things like
Correct article usage
the iphone
show examples
iphone
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iPhone
,
computers
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computer
show examples
technologies,
more
Correct word choice
and more
show examples
advaned
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advanced
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
that can never be
exisited
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existed
if not invented by
scintest
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scientists
scientist
. and I am not saying to neglect
teaching
Change the verb form
to teach
show examples
other subjects because
also
we need to have
echics
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ethics
and good behaving peoples. In conclusion, Science needs more cash to be able to teach and improve
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compared
show examples
compered
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compared
show examples
to other
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materials
mateirals
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materials
and we should do that
Submitted by suliman.kariri on

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task achievement
You should ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Provide more relevant specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve your logical structure by organizing your arguments into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should contain a single main idea.
general
Work on your vocabulary and grammar to reduce errors, as this will help make your points clearer to the reader.
task achievement
Attempt to provide more comprehensive explanations for your points to make them more convincing and clear.
task achievement
Your conclusion summarizes your viewpoint effectively.
task achievement
You have mentioned some relevant points like the importance of science in technological advancements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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