You have been studying in a foreign country for the last two years and your Visa is going to expire next june . You are going to take three months professional course . Write a letter to the embassy. In your letter Introduce yourself Explain your situation Request for extension of your Visa

Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to ask for information about the
embassy
in your letter .I am studying at University foreign language . I will finish my studies next year .After I
working
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
foreign
Add an article
the foreign
show examples
world ,because there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
various places and us others .
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, I am
mean
Correct word choice
ready
show examples
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
embassy
ready
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
for work .
Unfortunately
Add a comma
Unfortunately,
show examples
I am not
go
Wrong verb form
going to
show examples
foreign
Correct article usage
the foreign
show examples
world
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
now but he is more
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
and various things .
Firstly
of all, I would like to know
embassy
Correct article usage
the embassy
show examples
what
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
you do because what kind of work can I do if I
banned
Add a missing verb
am banned
show examples
.in
Correct your spelling
In
my opinion I can't go because my family situation
doesnt
Correct your spelling
doesn't
suit me.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
I would be interested to know how much is
embassy
remuneration because before I
am
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
basic
Change the word
basically
show examples
not working at various places .Everyone says that a person is forced to do everything.
Lastly
Add a comma
Lastly,
show examples
I wonder how
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
you do working foreign world and how
did
Verb problem
apply
show examples
you react to it
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
I would appreciate it if you could send the details to my emails I look forward to hearing from you ! Yours faithfully Sohib Ochilov
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your letter lacks a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Try to organize your thoughts in separate paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph discusses only one main idea to maintain clarity.
task achievement
Your letter does not fully address the task prompt. Make sure to introduce yourself, explain your situation clearly, and directly request the extension of your visa.
task achievement
Your tone is generally appropriate, but it can be slightly more formal and professional.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are polite and appropriate for a formal letter.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!