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Band 7.5

you need to arganize an affice event in a community center to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the company. write a letter to your owner about 1- request the budget of the cermony 2- explain the importance of event 3- ask hi using the conference room on that date.

#arganize #affice #event #community #center #anniversary #company #owner #request #budget #cermony #importance #hi #conference #room #date
Respected Sir, Hope you are aware of our company's upcoming 100th anniversary celebration next month on 16th June. As a company's
event
 manager, I am starting my
event
 preparation
this
 week.
Hence
, I am drafting
this
 letter to explain the importance of the
event
 and the key requests to make it a grand success. As you are aware, very few companies in the world can sustain for 100 years. During
this
 time, our company has not only sustained but
also
 thrived in our country's competitive manufacturing sector.
This
 calls for a grand
event
 promoting our organization's past history and how we are innovating ourselves by staying relevant to recent trends.
Hence
, I am planning to have a grand media coverage which can cost around 30,000 USD and an additional 10,000 USD for other food and beverage arrangements.
Moreover
, since we are planning to host a minimum of 20 media persons, we need to use our massive 30 seater conference room at Level 2 on that date.
Hence
, kindly seeking your permission to approve the above budget and allow us to use our conference room during the
event
. Yours sincerely Ram
Submitted by nusramkumar on

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task achievement
Your letter effectively communicates the key points, but you could enhance the task response by providing more specific details regarding the budget breakdown and elaborating on the importance of the event in terms of company morale or future opportunities.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider including transitional phrases that link the paragraphs more smoothly. For example, start the second paragraph with a phrase like 'Firstly,' to clearly introduce your main points.
task achievement
Your tone is professional and appropriate for the context, making the request sound reasonable and well-thought-out.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a clear and logical structure with separate paragraphs for each point, making it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are well executed, showing respect and professionalism.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, which helps maintain clarity and purpose in your writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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