With a fast pace of morden life, more and more people are turning towards fast food for their main meals. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?
In spite of technological advancement and the widespread modern
life's
pattern, there has been an increasing number of Change noun form
life
people
eating takeaway as their main meals
. Fix the agreement mistake
meal
This
esssay
argues that the downsides of health issues and environmental problems outweigh the Correct your spelling
essay
benefit
of having Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
a enjoyable
Correct the article-noun agreement
an enjoyable meal
enjoyable meals
meals
.
It is essential to acknowledge the most
disadvantage that more and more Fix the agreement mistake
apply
people
will suffer from many stomach-related illnesses by eating frequently fast food
. In other words
, junk
food
contain
Change the verb form
contains
the
immense Correct article usage
an
amount
of animal oil and Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
any
other harmful chemical Correct quantifier usage
apply
substance
which are used to improve the smell and taste of the Fix the agreement mistake
substances
food
and attract the customer's
craves can cause many severe cancers Change the noun form
customers
customer
about
Change preposition
of
stomach
or nervous Correct article usage
the stomach
systems
. Fix the agreement mistake
system
As a consequence
, the decline of public health will put a strain on the
national development and society's welfare, leading to Correct article usage
apply
the
inadequate workforce. Correct article usage
an
Taking
the USA as a pertinent example, where a third of Wrong verb form
Take
young
population craving Correct article usage
the young
to eat
Verb problem
apply
junk
food
experience many kind
of diseases, Change to a plural noun
kinds
such
as the
obesity and diabetes, motivating the highest proportion of Correct article usage
apply
obesity
Replace the word
obese
people
in the world.
Another disadvatageous
factor considering is the seriousness of the environmental circumstance. Correct your spelling
disadvantageous
This
is because pararrel
with the rising number of Correct your spelling
parallel
people
eating junk
food
, the amount of plastic from utilizing for containing
fast Change preposition
to contain
food
increased significantly by
Change preposition
over
years
, causing the destruction of Correct article usage
the years
ecosystematic
balance. Correct your spelling
ecosystemic
eco-systematic
eco systematic
In addition
, the waste of fast food
can also
become another harmful chemical pesticides
for the earth and water, Fix the agreement mistake
pesticide
although
it can help to imrove
Correct your spelling
improve
the
agricultural productivity. Correct article usage
apply
For
this
reason, the pollution by the
Correct article usage
apply
junk
food
's trash put
Wrong verb form
puts
a
hard pressure on Remove the article
apply
the
environmental Correct article usage
apply
protection's
Change noun form
protection
organization
and funding to address with. Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
Thus
, the more fast food
is comsumed
, the more polluted the ecosystem is.
Some critics, Correct your spelling
consumed
however
, assumes
that they live to enjoy Change the verb form
assume
the
delicious Correct article usage
apply
food
like fast food
without any global consideration, which is irrelevant to themselves. There is a belief that the ambition of eating the
overwhelming Correct article usage
apply
food
become
their motivation and Change the verb form
becomes
junk
food
become
one of Wrong verb form
becomes
thier
decisions. Correct your spelling
their
the
This
is
may be true, but the human civilization which is Unnecessary verb
apply
the
unity will eliminate those Correct article usage
apply
people
who are indifferent to the problems that fast food
brings about to the communities. As a result
, they will be get
Verb problem
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
blames
and Wrong verb form
blamed
citicism
Correct your spelling
criticised
from
many Change preposition
by
people
with
their lack of contribution Change preposition
for
of
considerate issues and Change preposition
to
selfish
to enjoy Replace the word
selfishness
by
themselves.
Taking all points into account, the possible benefits of enjoyable Change preposition
apply
meals
is
outweighed by the drawbacks of the negative Change the verb form
are
healthy
and ecosystematic impacts. Replace the word
health
Therefore
, it should have been demonstrated that it is non-beneficial to having
fast Wrong verb form
have
food
as a pricipal
Correct your spelling
principal
meals
until Fix the agreement mistake
meal
their
adverse effects were disappeared.Correct pronoun usage
its
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar vocabulary
Concentrate on reducing the frequency of grammatical errors and refining sentence structure. Although your arguments are strong, the clarity of your ideas can be improved by consistently using correct grammar and syntax.
grammar vocabulary
Try to use more varied vocabulary and sophisticated sentence structures. Enhancing your lexical resource will help convey your ideas more precisely and make your essay more engaging.
task achievement
It would be helpful to provide more detailed and varied examples to illustrate your points. This would strongly support your arguments and demonstrate a good command of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Although your essay has a logical flow, occasionally the connection between ideas is not as clear as it could be. Using transitional words and phrases can help to better interlink your paragraphs.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, providing clear arguments for why the disadvantages of fast food outweigh the advantages.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion that frame the essay well, making a clear statement of your position and summarizing your key points.
coherence cohesion
The main points in each paragraph are well-supported and logically structured. Your arguments are backed by relevant examples, such as the mention of health issues and environmental impacts.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
- Summary
- Restatement of thesis
- Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
- In conclusion
- To conclude
- To summarize
- Finally
- In a nutshell
- In general
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!