The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
The United
State
has the majority of influence on Fix the agreement mistake
States
Correct article usage
the flim
flim
Correct your spelling
film
industry
when compared to other countries. Government
of a country can consider providing some Correct article usage
The government
funds
to their own film
industries to protect and develop their culture
. This
essay will agrees
with Change the verb form
agree
this
statement. Firstly
, it will discuss how the flim
Correct your spelling
film
industry
have
Change the verb form
has
major
impact on the Add an article
a major
culture
of a society. Followed by that it will discuss how this
industry
can be developed with the
Correct article usage
apply
government
funds
.
Film
Add an article
The film
industry
is considered as one of the evergreen fields. The society's culture
is the main aspect of a film
. A movie
is not only to entertain the
Correct article usage
apply
people
for two to three hours,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
to let people
know about the value of their culture
and heritage. People
in that society can easily relate the
character Change preposition
to the
as well as
the story of the movie
when the movie
is focused on their own culture
. The
recent survey Correct article usage
A
have
shown that films that are taken by addressing the cultural value have received fifty to sixty Change the verb form
has
percent
of the success rate when compared to those Change the spelling
per cent
film
that are not.
Fix the agreement mistake
films
Government
can provide atleast
a minimal amount of Correct your spelling
at least
funds
to their film
industries. Because of this
their Add a comma
this,
cinima
Correct your spelling
cinema
industry
will have a chance to compete with other country's film
industry
. Fix the agreement mistake
industries
The
recent study has illustrated that the majority of Correct article usage
A
the
movies with good stories Correct article usage
apply
as well as
with high cultural values are not released because of the lack of money. This
issues
can Fix the agreement mistake
issue
also
be solved with the help of Correct article usage
the govenment's
govenment's
investment. Rather Correct your spelling
government's
that
providing Correct word choice
than
funds
to
Change preposition
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
film
that involve more Fix the agreement mistake
films
violance
and less cultural values, the Correct your spelling
violence
government
can invest in the
films that are helpful in enhancing Correct article usage
apply
the
cultural knowledge among the Correct article usage
apply
people
.
In conclusion, on
providing Change preposition
by
funds
to the film
industry
we are increasing the chance of competing with the film
industries in other countries. Furthermore
a Add a comma
Furthermore,
movie
with the
high cultural value can be released and Correct article usage
apply
increse
the Correct your spelling
increase
awarness
about their Correct your spelling
awareness
culture
and heritage among the people
.Submitted by r.harip3 on
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task achievement
Adding In-Text Examples: Consider incorporating specific examples from particular countries or films to strengthen your argument. This will provide more convincing evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Grammar and Punctuation: There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing in the essay. For example, 'film' is misspelled as 'flim' multiple times, and 'cinima' should be 'cinema.' Punctuation errors also affect readability.
coherence cohesion
Improve Transitions: To ensure ideas flow smoothly from one paragraph to another, use transitional phrases more effectively. These can guide the reader through your argument in a more coherent manner.
coherence cohesion
Clear Introduction and Conclusion: Your essay has a clear introduction that sets up the topic well and a conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.
task achievement
Relevance: The points raised are quite relevant to the topic and address both aspects of the question effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.