Do you think women should join army or navy? what is your opinion
One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in
womens
Correct your spelling
women's
women
recruitments
in national forces. Some people Fix the agreement mistake
recruitment
belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
ladies
play vital
role Add an article
a vital
to control
crimes Change preposition
in controlling
on
Change preposition
in
female
population. Add an article
the female
This
stance will be proven by carefully analysing why girls
are important for the brigades.
Firstly
, the main reason is that women
are reliable and dedicate
Wrong verb form
dedicated
of
their work commitment towards the nation. These never Change preposition
to
mixup
with any outer people like Correct your spelling
mix up
enemy
or foreign detectors. Another factor is that these are well suitable for office work and Fix the agreement mistake
enemies
maintain’s
central database. Correct your spelling
maintain
For example
, 70% of girls
are working in Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
army
in information technology departments and those are responsible to keep
Change preposition
for keeping
informations
safe and secure. Change the wording
information
pieces of information
As a result
, many young girls
gravitate towards army
and navy divisions.
Secondly
, the primary reason is that nowadays, females flying fighter planes in different countries and performing well. In addition
, in some cases
if Add a comma
cases,
country
Correct article usage
the country
need
these Change the verb form
needs
soilders
in wars, they play Correct your spelling
soldiers
important
part Add an article
an important
to look
after enemies Change preposition
in looking
women
and it proves kindness
of the country towards Correct article usage
the kindness
opposition
. Add an article
the opposition
For instance
, recently
war between Israel and Gaza, Israel’s Change the word
recent
women
fighters fighting
against Gaza and Wrong verb form
fought
handling
Gaza’s females even protecting them from any gang rape incidents. Wrong verb form
handled
As a consequence
, it is apparent why Correct article usage
the ladies
ladies
Change noun form
ladies'
lady's
army
play
Change the verb form
plays
successful
role Add an article
a successful
the successful
to save
the Change preposition
in saving
girls
from nasty elements.
In conclusion, following the analysis
it is Add a comma
analysis,
cleared
that every country Replace the word
clear
need
Change the verb form
needs
women
soilders
to minimise Correct your spelling
soldiers
masscare
from the opposite sex people, where Correct your spelling
mass care
ladies
can communicate with girls
to prove war’s rules and regulations. Further
, it is predicted that the recruitments
of Fix the agreement mistake
recruitment
ladies
in the army
and navy is
Change the verb form
are
goining
to continue in the future as well.Correct your spelling
going
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and sticks to it. Some points in your essay feel a bit scattered.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structures and reduce grammatical mistakes for better clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
Although you have provided specific examples, try to make sure they are seamlessly integrated into your argument to support your points more effectively.
task achievement
Review your points to make sure all ideas are fully developed and clearly linked to the question prompt.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your argument well.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure to your essay, with each paragraph contributing to the overall argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?