In many countries government are investing on new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening. Do you think this is an approciate use of government money?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Authorities from various nations are
concerning
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
using their budgets for dealing with the publicity by
up to date
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
show examples
technology
due to
Linking Words
the managing issues and
other phenomenon
Change the wording
another phenomenon
other phenomena
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
essayist will discuss and give
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
for
this
Linking Words
state. First and foremost, as the world now
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
being developed,
though
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there must be somewhere else that suffering the loosening control
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
people,
consequently
Linking Words
, governments might have to spend their budgets to tackle
this
Linking Words
phenomenon. More to explain is, that
this
Linking Words
state happens when how the
sympathetic
Replace the word
sympathy
show examples
of the local authority to a part of the
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
, or the poor via lack of budget might be a huge consideration, too.
For example
Linking Words
, as we
known
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there is the Third
world
Capitalize word
World
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing nations, where their economy might have been
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a long-term problem, so perhaps the
natives
Fix the agreement mistake
native
show examples
people
will suffer
Wrong verb form
suffered
show examples
the
Change preposition
from the
show examples
lack of
amenity
Fix the agreement mistake
amenities
show examples
, at that time, the appearance of rebels
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
as normal as we
seen
Change the form of the verb
see
show examples
today.
Thus
Linking Words
, There need to be some solutions for
this
Linking Words
issue, and the choice of the government is the most
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
or high-tech to tackle
this
Linking Words
problem.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
can be a worthwhile idea, and the government should
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
using
Change preposition
in using
show examples
it as soon as possible.
This
Linking Words
is true because technologies like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
AI
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
improved
transporting
Replace the word
transportation
show examples
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
or well-designed cultivated
zone
Fix the agreement mistake
zones
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can improve the quality of life of the natives in the
nation-range
Correct your spelling
nation range
show examples
.
Taking
Wrong verb form
Take
show examples
Viet Nam
for example
Linking Words
, a South Eastern country
that
Linking Words
is belonging
Wrong verb form
belongs
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the Third World group,
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
been gradually developing as it has invested in
modern-tech
Correct your spelling
modern tech
show examples
for the improvement of the country. So, to offer the benefits for the countries, it is worth involving
such
Linking Words
inventions for the development of the
county
Correct your spelling
country
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can be seen that the government should immediately
using
Change the verb form
use
be using
show examples
modern-techs
Correct your spelling
modern techs
show examples
, as the
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
show examples
and advantages are worthwhile to be involved in the development of the country.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses the task and provides relevant points, but the ideas could be more fully developed. Consider elaborating more on each point with additional examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear organizational structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, some paragraphs lack logical flow. Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay could be clearer in places. Some sentences are overly complex and hard to follow. Simplify your sentence structures to improve readability.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the main argument of the essay.
relevant specific examples
You've included specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument and demonstrates understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: