The bar chart shows the percentages of the UK workforce in five major industries in 1841 and 2011. Write at least 150 words.

#bar #percentages #uk #workforce #five #industries

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The bar chart compares the percentage of

labors

Replace the word

labourers

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Change preposition

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five different industries in the UK between 1841 and 2011.

Overall

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

most people, who lived in the UK, were interested in working in

Wrong verb form

manufacturing

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manufactures

Replace the word

manufacturing

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in 1841, services industries had by far the greatest percentage of

labor

Change the spelling

labour

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force among all in the next one hundred and seventy years. What stands out is that services, which were the second

popular

Correct quantifier usage

most popular

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workplace in the mid ninetieth century, became the most popular industry in the United Kingdom with a sharp growth from 33% in 1841 to 81% in 2011.

By contrast

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

manufacturing took the second place

Change preposition

with

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a 27% decrease in

term

Fix the agreement mistake

terms

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of the workforce.

On the other hand

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

third

Add an article

the third

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proportion of workers

were

Change the verb form

was

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allocated to agriculture/fishing companies in 1841, they have lost their fame since the early 21st century and reached the percentage of energy/water industry in the same year, both with just one

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

However

Linking Words

, construction experienced a negligible rise to 8%.

Submitted by mohi.rezaiee on Wed May 15 2024

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

165 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

agrarian society
modernization
technological advancements
deindustrialization
Industrial Revolution
workforce shift
service sectors
knowledge-based economy
labor-intensive
information technology
healthcare sectors
manufacturing decline
workforce percentages

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The bar chart shows the percentages of the UK workforce in five major industries in 1841 and 2011. Write at least 150 words.

Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to new generations, companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire.Do you agree or disagree?

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on laand and in sea l.What are the reasons and solutions?

the advantages and disadvantages of technology in education

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that chilren should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.