When choosing a job, the salary is the most important thing to consider. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Financial stability is the key for everyone to be satisfied as they start to do their job or business.

To provide

Change the verb form

Providing

show examples

a good lifestyle

Change preposition

for

show examples

the family and

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

quality education

Change preposition

for

show examples

children requires a great deal of money, so it is an essential point of concern for every employee. I believe it is completely right and in

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss the point in support of

this

Linking Words

statement. A good

salary

Use synonyms

plays an important role in satisfying a person to support their family

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

feed them and supply them with physiological needs. Nowadays, education has become a business for institutional owners to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

the fees of schools and colleges; high wages remain the option for parents. Globally, inflation has become another issue for people to be concerned about,

however

Linking Words

As a result

Linking Words

, most of the generation tries to get a higher package on placement after completing their graduation or degree.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, for the sake of social status, a great

salary

Use synonyms

is appreciated, which might dignify people and make them respectable. It has provided a sense of stability and satisfaction with the job. With a large

salary

Use synonyms

, individuals could take care of themselves, enjoy their lives luxuriously, and

also

Linking Words

travel to their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

vacation destinations.

To conclude

Linking Words

, to make sure satisfaction for the

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

of family responsibilities and their own care could be possible with a good

salary

Use synonyms

package

while

Linking Words

selecting an occupation

Change the punctuation

show examples

Submitted by mayamayurakshi636 on Wed May 15 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Work on providing more specific examples and evidence to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Try to enhance the logical flow between paragraphs. Using transitional words and phrases can improve cohesion and make your writing smoother.

task achievement

The essay addresses the topic effectively and provides a clear stance, which is well-explained throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Both the introduction and conclusion are present, giving the essay a clear structure.

task achievement

Main points are well-supported with relevant arguments, making the essay engaging and focused.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

234 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people say that shops should sell food products that are made in the local area whenever possible rather than foods that are imported from other countries. Do you agree or disagree?
There is a growing debate about whether shops should prioritize selling locally produced food over imported products. While some people argue that local food should be prioritized, others believe that imported foods also have their place in the market. I generally agree with the idea of promoting local food products, but I also recognize the importance of offering a variety of imported goods.
<4
band
In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?
In modern community I observe lack of communication between neighbors due to different reason. Firstly, busy life in other words people busy about their life to meet their needs and to provide a good life for their family. Secondly, differences between community layers one of the most issue that promote from absence of communication between communities. Finally, it is necessary to increase the awareness among people to promote social communication by media or school.
4
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. WHy is this?Do you think it is positive or negative development?
Recently, most of the companies use strategies on their advertisements by introducing something new in their products. In my opinion, I think it has positive effect in development.
4.5
band
Some people believe that sports are an essential part of school life for children while you should give reasons for your answers and include. ideas and examples
Many people trust that sport very essential or good part of school life for pupil. This issue is very simple to discuss because a lot of people have doing some sports due to, sport very curcial for human specifically Children. I will give any reason in the following esay.
<4
band
The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?
Throughout the years there has been a profund rise in tourism. This has lead to English being the most dominate lanuage on the planet. It is believed that, if this countines. English will be the only language sopken in the world. This eassy will discuss the postive and negative aspects of speaking one language worldwide.

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important thing to consider. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that shops should sell food products that are made in the local area whenever possible rather than foods that are imported from other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. WHy is this?Do you think it is positive or negative development?

Some people believe that sports are an essential part of school life for children while you should give reasons for your answers and include. ideas and examples

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?