When choosing a job, the salary is the most important thing to consider. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary

Financial stability is the key for everyone to be satisfied as they start to do their job or business.

To provide

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Providing

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a good lifestyle

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for

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the family and

better

Correct article usage

a better

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quality education

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for

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children requires a great deal of money, so it is an essential point of concern for every employee. I believe it is completely right and in

this

essay, I will discuss the point in support of

this

statement. A good

salary

plays an important role in satisfying a person to support their family

Fix the infinitive

apply

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feed them and supply them with physiological needs. Nowadays, education has become a business for institutional owners to

fulfill

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fulfil

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the fees of schools and colleges; high wages remain the option for parents. Globally, inflation has become another issue for people to be concerned about,

however

As a result

, most of the generation tries to get a higher package on placement after completing their graduation or degree.

Furthermore

, for the sake of social status, a great

salary

is appreciated, which might dignify people and make them respectable. It has provided a sense of stability and satisfaction with the job. With a large

salary

, individuals could take care of themselves, enjoy their lives luxuriously, and

also

travel to their

favorite

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favourite

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vacation destinations.

To conclude

, to make sure satisfaction for the

fulfillment

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fulfilment

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of family responsibilities and their own care could be possible with a good

salary

package

while

selecting an occupation

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show examples

Submitted by mayamayurakshi636 on Wed May 15 2024

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coherence cohesion

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task achievement

The essay addresses the topic effectively and provides a clear stance, which is well-explained throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Both the introduction and conclusion are present, giving the essay a clear structure.

task achievement

Main points are well-supported with relevant arguments, making the essay engaging and focused.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

234 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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When choosing a job, the salary is the most important thing to consider. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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