It is argued that pleasure in your job takes higher priorities than the amount of money that you earn
It is claimed by some
individuals
that job
satisfaction
is a more notable factor than a high income
. I disagree with this
statement, as there are several main reasons, as money
is of utmost importance to buy something which is wanted and lead to new opportunities for improvement, and they will be discussed in this
essay.
The main reason for more importance of having a high salary
is that people can buy whatever they want since money
plays a significant role in people’s lives. To elaborate, most individuals
desire to meet their needs, thus
having a high income
is able to help coming true
their dreams. Verb problem
achieve
For instance
, sometimes the
expensive products, Correct article usage
apply
such
as shoes, bags, and clothes, can be desirable by individuals
, and they need a lot of money
to get these products. Therefore
, earning highly
Change the adverb
high
income
is more important than having job
satisfaction
.
In terms of the other reason, a high salary
is capable of providing opportunities for personal and professional growth, such
as investing in further
education and skill development. To be more specific, individuals
getting high salaries have the potential Wrong verb form
to learn
learning
new knowledge thanks to a high Change the verb form
to learn
salary
, not job
satisfaction
in the future. For example
, people acquiring new knowledge can earn more money
, if a part of money
is allocated for their development. As a result
, a high income
has the opportunity to obtain this
improvement. Hence
, getting a high salary
is more essential than being pleased with a job
.
To conclude
, even though it is assumed that job
satisfaction
is more crucial than having a high salary
by some people, however
, in my opinion, a high salary
is more important for acquiring the
expensive products and new chances.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on
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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and sticks closely to the main idea. This will help make your argument more cohesive.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples and evidence. Thoroughly explain the connections between your arguments and your main thesis.
coherence and cohesion
Try to incorporate transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs. This will help improve the overall coherence of your essay.
introduction
The introduction clearly states the main argument and outlines the points that will be discussed in the essay.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and restates the thesis, providing a sense of closure.
task support
The essay provides specific reasons and examples to support the points made, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.