It is argued that pleasure in your job takes higher priorities than the amount of money that you earn

It is claimed by some

individuals

Use synonyms

that

job

Use synonyms

satisfaction

Use synonyms

is a more notable factor than a high

income

Use synonyms

. I disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement, as there are several main reasons, as

money

Use synonyms

is of utmost importance to buy something which is wanted and lead to new opportunities for improvement, and they will be discussed in

this

Linking Words

essay. The main reason for more importance of having a high

salary

Use synonyms

is that people can buy whatever they want since

money

Use synonyms

plays a significant role in people’s lives. To elaborate, most

individuals

Use synonyms

desire to meet their needs,

thus

Linking Words

having a high

income

Use synonyms

is able to help

coming true

Verb problem

achieve

show examples

their dreams.

For instance

Linking Words

, sometimes

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

expensive products,

such

Linking Words

as shoes, bags, and clothes, can be desirable by

individuals

Use synonyms

, and they need a lot of

money

Use synonyms

to get these products.

Therefore

Linking Words

, earning

highly

Change the adverb

high

show examples

income

Use synonyms

is more important than having

job

Use synonyms

satisfaction

Use synonyms

. In terms of the other reason, a high

salary

Use synonyms

is capable of providing opportunities for personal and professional growth,

such

Linking Words

as investing in

further

Linking Words

education and skill development. To be more specific,

individuals

Use synonyms

getting high salaries have the potential

Wrong verb form

to learn

show examples

learning

Change the verb form

to learn

show examples

new knowledge thanks to a high

salary

Use synonyms

, not

job

Use synonyms

satisfaction

Use synonyms

in the future.

For example

Linking Words

, people acquiring new knowledge can earn more

money

Use synonyms

, if a part of

money

Use synonyms

is allocated for their development.

As a result

Linking Words

, a high

income

Use synonyms

has the opportunity to obtain

this

Linking Words

improvement.

Hence

Linking Words

, getting a high

salary

Use synonyms

is more essential than being pleased with a

job

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

, even though it is assumed that

job

Use synonyms

satisfaction

Use synonyms

is more crucial than having a high

salary

Use synonyms

by some people,

however

Linking Words

, in my opinion, a high

salary

Use synonyms

is more important for acquiring

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

expensive products and new chances.

quluzadenurlan107

May 15, 2024

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and sticks closely to the main idea. This will help make your argument more cohesive.

task achievement

Expand on your ideas with more specific examples and evidence. Thoroughly explain the connections between your arguments and your main thesis.

coherence and cohesion

Try to incorporate transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs. This will help improve the overall coherence of your essay.

introduction

The introduction clearly states the main argument and outlines the points that will be discussed in the essay.

conclusion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and restates the thesis, providing a sense of closure.

task support

The essay provides specific reasons and examples to support the points made, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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It is argued that pleasure in your job takes higher priorities than the amount of money that you earn

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