In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

new era with

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

prevalence of entrepreneurs, the creation of innovative products has become more popular, mainly because of the competitiveness and the necessity to improve their marketing. I consider that their positive impacts outweigh

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

show examples

ones, and in

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain my reasons in detail. To start with, most advertisements try to persuade human feelings and thoughts,

thus

Linking Words

many

proffessionals

Correct your spelling

professionals

such

Linking Words

as sociologists,

antropologists

Correct your spelling

anthropologists

, psychologists, etc, have deeply researched

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

human

behivours

Correct your spelling

behaviours

behaviour

in order to know how to

captivate

Verb problem

capture

show examples

the attention of the population.

Therefore

Linking Words

, investors have been aware of the characteristics of the

communitiy

Correct your spelling

community

communities

in which they desire to have

impact

Add an article

an impact

show examples

This

Linking Words

represents a big merit and,

as a consequence

Linking Words

, their sales have experienced an increase.

For example

Linking Words

, big-scale clothing industries have seasonal trade owing to the

wheather

Correct your spelling

weather

thus

Linking Words

they offer

wide

Add an article

a wide

show examples

variety of clothes

according to

Linking Words

the climate and make discounts to enhance their sales.

Additionally

Linking Words

, it is well-known that new environmental policies have been created in response to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

global warming,

hence

Linking Words

, many industries have created cutting-edge designs with recycled material

as well as

Linking Words

they have changed their

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

in order to establish eco-friendly settlements.

Consequently

Linking Words

, many companies appeal not only to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

environmental activists but

also

Linking Words

generate

Fix the infinitive

to generate

show examples

inclusive

campaings

Correct your spelling

campaigns

campaign

For example

Linking Words

, 'Gucci' used to employ animal hides in their shelters,

however

Linking Words

, they removed

those material

Change the determiner

that material

those materials

show examples

Change preposition

from

show examples

their clothes. Since

then

Linking Words

, their goods

are

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

widely

wear

Wrong verb form

worn

show examples

and their sales have rocketed.

To sum up

Linking Words

, human brains and

behivours

Correct your spelling

behaviour

are changing constantly,

thus

Linking Words

marketing and products should advance at the same speed.

Then

Linking Words

, innovation and out-of-standard merchandise are required in order to adapt them to our needs.

luciaagudelomottaWed May 15 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar and mechanics

The essay generally addresses the prompt, but there are some spelling errors (e.g., 'proffessionals', 'behivours', 'wheather', 'communitiy', 'activists', 'campaings', 'brains') that should be corrected. Also, try to use synonyms to avoid repeating the same words.

evidence and support

The main points are relevant and supported with examples, but more specific details and varied examples could enrich your argument further.

cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with a good introduction and conclusion. However, it would benefit from a more varied use of linking words and phrases, especially to enhance cohesion between ideas.

introduction clarity

The introduction clearly states your viewpoint and sets the stage for the arguments presented.

support and examples

The examples used are relevant and help illustrate your points effectively.

conclusion clarity

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the essay's position.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Innovation
Fast-paced
Distinguishing
Psychological aspect
Inherently
Perceived
Continuous improvement
Revolutionary
Feasible
Throwaway culture
Undervalue
Longevity
Obscure
Novelty
Unsatisfactory

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.
In recent times, economic inequality has been at a high rate, therefore, it is believed that money can make people happier. However, I think, that a healthy mindset is more valuable than material success.
6
band
Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In this contemporary epoch, entertainment plays a vital role in every common person’s life. In my opinion, film actors, singers, and sports personalities are paid really high for their shows while, I think that doctors, teachers, or engineers deserve better salaries in comparison to television stars. This essay will delve into the reasons behind the above matrimonial.
6.5
band
Some companies sponsor sports as away to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. discuss boyh sides and give your opinion.
These days, the cost that governments have to invest in sports is a lot, so they find some sponsors for them; in fact, the companies that spend money on sports advertise themselves, but the problem is that a group of people do not accept this work. In my opinion, this phenomenon is a new commercial that has benefits for not only sports but also businesses owing to the fact that the sportsmen have access to the newest facilities that help them to improve their skills and the firms that fund gyms publicities their goods and climbing their sales.
6
band
In many countries, government spent a large amount of money on improving internet access. Why is it happening and do you think it is the most appropriate use of government money?
Although Medicine is a field which has a myriad of branches with a lot of fascinating and impressive ways of studying it, one of the most awe-inspiring characteristics is, without a doubt, its well-balanced relationship among natural, formal and social sciences. This mixture leads to a wide spectrum of complex stumbling blocks which requires an appropriate combination of curiosity and multidisciplinarity to solve them. From a very early age this aroused my interest and prompted me to study not only the structure of the human body and physiology but also the mechanisms of pathogenesis with the respectives treatments.
6
band
The internet is a great source of information and has opened up opportunities for people to learn all over the world. Is all information on the internet reliable? What could be done to control information online?
The internet is an incredible source of information that has provided fantastic opportunities for people to gain knowledge all over the world. However, not all sources that are found on the internet can be deemed as reliable.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is positive or negative development?

Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some companies sponsor sports as away to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. discuss boyh sides and give your opinion.

In many countries, government spent a large amount of money on improving internet access. Why is it happening and do you think it is the most appropriate use of government money?

The internet is a great source of information and has opened up opportunities for people to learn all over the world. Is all information on the internet reliable? What could be done to control information online?