IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

the chart below shows the different types of goods and services purchased online in Australia, Canada and the United kingdom last year.

the chart below shows the different types of goods and services purchased online in Australia, Canada and the United kingdom last year.
#goods #services #australia #canada #kingdom #year
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph below illustrates the rate of shopping online for various kinds of products and services in three different regions (
Australia
, Canada and the
UK
) in the
last
 12 months. In general, it can be clearly observed that the most purchased items were books. Meanwhile, the lowest percentage was recorded in online financial services.
To begin
 with, around 40% of consumers enjoyed music in
Australia
 and Canada.
However
, in the
UK
 it was 20% more.
In addition
, approximately 45% of netizens bought their IT tools online in the first two mentioned regions. The
UK
,
on the other hand
, reached nearly half of the total consumers for
this
 item.
Similarly
, around the same amount of people bought books through the web except for British people who exceeded the rate by 60%. Meanwhile, the next categories were the three least purchased items
last
 year. Toys sales in
Australia
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 almost nonexistent, compared to less than 20% of that in Canada and Britain.
However
, Canadians rarely ordered food online,
in contrast
 to almost one-fifth of all consumers in
Australia
 and The
UK
.
Finally
, online financial service was hardly ever used by British citizens.
On the contrary
, around 15-17% of Australians and Canadians who used the service
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, uk with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: