IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart illustrates the comparison of various types of energy generation in France namely coal, gas, petro, nuclear and the other energy over the period of 10 years starting in 1995.

The chart illustrates the comparison of various types of energy generation in France namely coal, gas, petro, nuclear and the other energy over the period of 10 years starting in 1995.
#comparison #energy #generation #france #gas #petro #period #years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 information about the percentage of
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 from five different
sources
Use synonyms
 (coal,
gas
Use synonyms
,
petrol
Use synonyms
, nuclear and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
energy
Use synonyms
) in France between 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, in both years,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Coal was the largest
resources
Fix the agreement mistake
resource
show examples
 of
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
.
Gas
Use synonyms
 and
petrol
Use synonyms
 followed as the second and third largest
sources
Use synonyms
, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, nuclear and other
energy
Use synonyms
sources
Use synonyms
 contributed a smaller portion of
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 during
this
Linking Words
 period. Tuning to the data in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, in 1995, coal,
gas
Use synonyms
, and
petrol
Use synonyms
 accounted for approximately 30% of
production
Use synonyms
 each, with specific percentages being 29.80%, 29.63% and 29.27%, respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
, nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 contributed 6.40%,
while
Linking Words
 other
energy
Use synonyms
sources
Use synonyms
 produced 4.90%. By 2005, the percentage of
energy
Use synonyms
 produced from coal and
gas
Use synonyms
 had slightly increased to 30.93% and 30.31%, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the proportion of
energy
Use synonyms
 derived from
petrol
Use synonyms
 had decreased significantly to 19.55%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the shares of nuclear and other
sources
Use synonyms
 rose to 10.10% and 9.10%, respectively.
Submitted by subin12260 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, production, sources, gas, petrol with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: