IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that Governments impose extra taxes on flights to restrict tourism industry. It is undeniable that tourism has become an essential part of our life.

#governments #taxes #flights #tourism #industry #part #life
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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that Governments impose extra
taxes
Use synonyms
 on flights to restrict
Use synonyms
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
 industry. It is undeniable that
tourism
Use synonyms
 has become an essential part of our life.
However
Linking Words
, these days
tourism
Use synonyms
 creates a variety of problems,
such
Linking Words
 as
pollution
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due to
Linking Words
 flights, transport and polluted water. One of the main aspects of the problem is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, many
couries
Correct your spelling
countries
courses
 like Thailand, Turkey, Maldives and others
depends
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depend
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 on the steady earning from
Use synonyms
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
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 sector. If
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 impose extra
taxes
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Change preposition
on
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for
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on
show examples
Linking Words
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 countries it could be catastrophic. One of the main reasons behind
that is
Linking Words
 flights and
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
 and
produces
Correct subject-verb agreement
produce
show examples
 a lot of chemicals and acids.
This
Linking Words
 could lead to polluted water and
environment
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 or might result in acid rains. To tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem government
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 to control
pollution
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 and use workers to clean
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environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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. Some of the hotels and tourist
guiders
Correct your spelling
guides
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 need to
instructing
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instruct
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 visitors not to pollute the
environment
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.
Moreover
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,
scientist
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scientists
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 and
engineers
Add the comma(s)
engineers,
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 today
develop
Wrong verb form
have developed
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 and created a lot of technologies that can help reduce
eñvironment
Correct your spelling
environmental
pollution
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.
This
Linking Words
 may be the best way to control
pollution
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 created by tourists. Having weighed everything mentioned
up
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apply
show examples
, we can come to
conclusion
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the conclusion
show examples
 that
tourism
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 creates a variety of problems for
Use synonyms
environment
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the environment
show examples
 but
government
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the government
show examples
 need to find better solutions
instead
Linking Words
 of
impose
Change the verb form
imposing
show examples
 extra
taxes
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. So it would not be surprising to see some problems in
Use synonyms
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
 sphere in the near future. Actions must be taken urgently,
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
show examples
 we will
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pay extra
taxes
Use synonyms
 and
polluted
Correct article usage
a polluted
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environment
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and discusses both the negative impacts of tourism and potential solutions. However, ensure that each point is clearly linked to the argument you're making. For example, while mentioning that countries depend on tourism revenues, clarify how extra taxes could impact this dependency more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your essay. For instance, start with a clear introduction of the issue, followed by a detailed discussion of problems caused by tourism, and then solutions. Using clear linking phrases can help improve the coherence.
task achievement
Your essay should support each main point with relevant and specific examples. Instead of stating that tourism pollutes, provide statistics or concrete examples. Also, ensure your arguments are backed by evidence or logical reasoning.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the context by stating the growing importance of tourism and its related issues. This provides a solid foundation for the rest of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion summarizes your argument well, reiterating the need for government action without imposing extra taxes. This provides a clear closing point for your essay.
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