Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many
Change preposition
Many
show examples
people
love reading
stories
very much and they prefer reading more than watching tv or playing computer games which we can see those
people
when
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation public
such
as the metro or buses and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the airplane
in contrast
onther
Correct your spelling
other
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
they not have
Correct article usage
an interesting
show examples
interesting
Replace the word
interest
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
books
. In
this
Add a comma
easy,
show examples
easy
Correct your spelling
essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will discuss
this
topic and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will
say
Verb problem
give
show examples
my opinion. First of all , nowadays there are a
lot
of sources educating one of them reading
stories
it's interesting when reading
stories
especially when you
arrived
Wrong verb form
arrive
show examples
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
the end story and you know what happened in the end so we found a
lot
of cities reading
stories
every day . In my experience
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
know
same
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
people
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
go to
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
weekly and spend a
more
Fix the agreement mistake
lot of
show examples
time
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reading
stories
moreover
they have a
lot
of knowledge
however
when they have free time
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the weekend some of them watch .
On the other hand
, there are
people
don't
Correct pronoun usage
who don't
show examples
prefer reading
books
and they like watching
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
or playing
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
more than reading
stories
in fact they
sees
Change the verb form
see
show examples
reading
books
it bord so they
are watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
or listening
podcast
Fix the agreement mistake
podcasts
show examples
instead
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
reading
books
and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think that good idea and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will say why first point we cam listening bobcats when we are driving a car .
Second
Correct article usage
The second
show examples
listing podcast
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
us
Correct article usage
a summrais
show examples
summrais
Correct your spelling
summaries
story .
Finally
when a have book may
forgotten
Change the verb form
be forgotten
forget
show examples
when
Add the particle
to go
show examples
go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
somewhere. So
To sum up
, reading
stories
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
us a
lot
of knowledge
Add the comma(s)
, in addition,
show examples
in addition
becoming know a
lot
of information and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
us to be creative and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
agree with
this
side
however
sometimes feeling bored or must
took
Change the verb form
take
show examples
books
every where
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
when
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
reading
strioes
Correct your spelling
stories
and
this
sometimes it difficult to takes
this
book .
Submitted by sialamer on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea or argument, and try to develop it fully before moving on to the next point.
task achievement
Work on eliminating grammatical errors and improving sentence structure. This will help your ideas to come across more clearly and effectively.
task achievement
You have made an attempt to present both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, which helps to wrap up the essay neatly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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