In number of countries, some People think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing New railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Other believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some would argue that building New
railway
lines for New generation trains needs huge investments,
while
others say that better to invest money
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
transport
which is already
exist
Correct subject-verb agreement
exists
show examples
.
While
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
transportation system has less efficiency, I believe
that is
better to attract public taxes to
constract
Correct your spelling
construct
contract
developed
railway
Fix the agreement mistake
railways
show examples
. On the one hand, the system of
vechiles
Correct your spelling
vehicles
used to deliver
society
Change preposition
to society
show examples
is rather easier to improve, there is a list of disadvantages, which covers under
this
decision. The main reason not to hold it is busses' capacity.
For instance
, the bus liner can
transport
over 42 passengers between cities and its cost price for one person is up to 52$ for 100
killometers
Correct your spelling
kilometres
according to
data published
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
year in Investments journal.
Also
, wastes on food are not included.
However
, I believe that
this
does not solve
problem
Add an article
the problem
show examples
of
transport
at all.
On the other hand
, attracting financial support to the
railway
infrastructure has
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
more advantages in
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
and long terms.
Main
Change the article
The main
show examples
thing is its efficiency,
also
ticket
Correct article usage
the ticket
show examples
price is lower. To illustrate, one cab can take over 72 humans, there are 10 cabs in the common train, so it drives 720 people at once,
due to
capacity
Correct article usage
the capacity
show examples
price
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
over 30 $,
Railway
today
Capitalize word
Today
show examples
magazine said.
Finally
,
although
improving public
transport
is
necessary
Add an article
a necessary
the necessary
show examples
thing to do, it does not solve the problem in in prospect, and
that is
why it is more important to invest money
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
railway
. It is recommended that more
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
follow
this
logic and bring in more forward-thinking initiatives.
Submitted by interclass1982 on

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task response
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion, which is excellent. However, the points could be more thoroughly developed and relevant examples could be better integrated to strengthen your argument. Try to elaborate more on each point to achieve a complete response.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is somewhat sound but can benefit from more precise transitions between ideas. For example, use more linking phrases to guide the reader through your arguments seamlessly. Dividing your essay into clear paragraphs for each idea will also enhance its readability.
task response
Your essay presents both viewpoints effectively and provides a clear conclusion, showing a good understanding of the task requirements.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and frame your argument well. Your main points are relevant and supported by some examples, which is good. With some refinement, these elements can significantly enhance your essay's quality.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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