IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows how drinking water is made using solar power

The diagram below shows how drinking water is made using solar power
The picture depicts
about
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apply
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the cycle of producing healthy drinking
water
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 by using photovoltaic panels with optimized renewable energy.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are three steps involved, which include energy transformation,
water
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process
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, and generating proper
water
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 to drink. The first
process
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 of drinkable
water
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 starts with solar
panel
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panels
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 receiving sun energy
then
Linking Words
 changes into electricity pump equipment,
subsequently
Linking Words
 the pump machine which has high pressure turn on to flow the
water
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in to
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into
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 the filter
process
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. The next stage is the
water
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process
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. The groundwater rises to the
water
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 filter machine which has
different size
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different-sized
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 screens to separate the
water
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 from the unuseful things
such
Linking Words
 as soil contains, dirt, germs, and bacteria. Afterwards, the clean
water
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 is gathered in the huge tank which has
automatic
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an automatic
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 valve to flow the drinkable
water
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 into the moveable container.
This
Linking Words
 tank is located above the wooden platform near the
water
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 sources. Ultimately, drinkable
water
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already
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is already
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 to serve for everyone in the university.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, process with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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