IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#line #show #information #crime #uk #year #summarise #features #comparisons
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The graphs provide information on
crime
Use synonyms
 in the UK for the
last
Linking Words
 year. The information was broken down into age groups and four types of
crime
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
whose
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
age
Wrong verb form
aged
show examples
 between 16 to 24 had the highest
crime
Use synonyms
 rate,
whereas
Linking Words
 the majority committed
crimes
Use synonyms
 related to
violent
Replace the word
violence
show examples
, property and
drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
show examples
. People
with
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
between
Change preposition
of
show examples
 16 to 28 committed the majority of
crimes
Use synonyms
last
Linking Words
 year.
According to
Linking Words
 the line graph, there was an upward trend of teenagers (between 12 to 20 years old) committing
crimes
Use synonyms
, the number soared from 50,000 to 700,000 and peaked at 800,000. When they grew older, the figures ebbed to 200,000 and
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 steadily to less than 10,000. Violent
accounts
Wrong verb form
accounted
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the majority of
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 committed in the UK
last
Linking Words
 year
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 46%
while
Linking Words
 property and drug
crimes
Use synonyms
 were each half of that figure, with the former at 23% and the latter at 22%. A minority of people committed public order
Use synonyms
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
, at 9%.
Submitted by puimei822 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, crimes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • The line graph depicts
  • The pie chart illustrates
  • reveals
  • displays
  • depicts
  • the trend of
  • the overall crime rate
  • steadily decreased
  • the distribution of
  • different types of crime
  • prevalent
  • accounts for
  • the most common crime
  • followed by
  • make up
  • a smaller proportion of
  • the total crimes
  • a smaller percentage
  • approximately
  • the remaining percentage
  • It is important to note that
  • reflects
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