IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table below shows local catches and imports of fresh fish into Perth, Australia for the years 2004 - 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The table below shows local catches and imports of fresh fish into Perth, Australia for the years 2004 - 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#minutes #imports #fish #perth #australia #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The data provides information on how many fresh
fish
Use synonyms
 were caught locally and imported
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
Perth
Use synonyms
 over a 10-year
period
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the major fresh
fish
Use synonyms
 supply in
Perth
Use synonyms
 was from local catchers, only a small amount was imported. Even though the figures fluctuated over the
period
Use synonyms
, the total supply of fresh
fish
Use synonyms
 had increased by 2014 . The major supply of fresh
fish
Use synonyms
 in
Perth
Use synonyms
 was coming from Australian catchers, at over 80% of the supply each year, and the amount nearly doubled, from 2677.7 metric
tons
Use synonyms
 to 5031.9
ton
Fix the agreement mistake
tons
show examples
, over the
period
Use synonyms
. At the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
, there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 2677.7 metric
tons
Use synonyms
fresh
Change preposition
of fresh
show examples
fish
Use synonyms
 caught locally.
Then
Linking Words
, the figures steadily increased until reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak at 8136.2
tons
Use synonyms
 in 2008, which was three times higher than that in 2014. Starting from 2009, the numbers declined and fluctuated between 6831.1 and 4271.3 until the data shown in 2014, at 5031.9.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the amount of
imports
Wrong verb form
imported
show examples
 fresh
fish
Use synonyms
 increased over the
period
Use synonyms
. In 2004, 464.5 fresh
fish
Use synonyms
 was imported. The figure dropped by half in 2005 before
soared
Wrong verb form
soaring
show examples
 to 830.5 in two years.
Then
Linking Words
, the number increased steadily and reached the summit at 1203.7 in 2010 before the number started to decline.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
, 782.7 metric
tons
Use synonyms
fresh
Change preposition
of fresh
show examples
fish
Use synonyms
 was imported to
Perth
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by puimei822 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, perth, period, tons with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: