IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons behind this view? What are the solutions to change it?

#people #tourism #country #change
It is universally believed that international
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 has a bad effect on their nation.
This
 essay attempts to shed light on the driving factors behind
this
 issue before outlining several viable solutions that should be adopted to tackle it. There are two primary reasons
as to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why the expansion of global tourism could cause terrible problems in those countries. First and foremost, tourism could adversely affect the natural environment. Admittedly, the amount of waste generated in tourist attractions is higher than in other areas owing to the people's unconsciousness towards the local places and inhabitants.
Secondly
, it might have a negative effect on the customs and traditions of those countries.
For instance
, inappropriate clothing when going to sacred places makes the culture and spiritual beauty of
this
 place worse.
Therefore
, a number of steps need to be taken to cope with
this
 phenomenon. Primarily, governments and local authorities should enact strict policies for littering.Being savvy about the negative impact on the environment coming from littering, people would restrain themselves from continuing
doing
Change the verb form
to do
show examples
this
 unethical action. Concurrently, tourists should be encouraged to acknowledge the local culture before visiting there.
As a result
, individuals could reduce the possibility of violating local customs and traditions
due to
 the knowledge they gained in preparation.
To sum up
, pollution and negative influence on local culture are
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 issues of
this
 tendency,
however
, those problems could be implemented by policies and the tourists themselves, respectively.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider elaborating a bit more on the solutions provided, adding clarity and depth to how they can be implemented effectively.
coherence cohesion
There is a need to ensure smooth and clear transitions between ideas to improve the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, effectively framing the issue and the proposed solutions.
task achievement
The main ideas are relevant to the topic and are supported with examples, indicating a good task response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental impact
  • Over-tourism
  • Pollution
  • Natural habitats
  • Cultural erosion
  • Economic dependency
  • Resource strain
  • Sustainable tourism
  • Eco-friendly practices
  • Cultural heritage
  • Infrastructure
  • Diversification
  • Empowerment
  • Awareness programs
  • Visitor limits
  • Off-peak tourism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: