IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and wales between 1918 and 2011.

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The bar chart indicates the percentage of people who lived in rented and owned houses in the UK for 93 years.
It is clear that
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the number of households who have their own house has increased greatly during these years.
In contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we saw a huge downfall in the number of people who lived in
the renting
Correct word choice
rented

There may be an adjective issue here.

show examples
 houses during
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 specific period of time in England and Wales. In 1918, these two countries experienced the biggest difference between the households with rented and owned accommodation with almost 78% and 22% respectively.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, as time passed, the margin between these two types of accommodation became narrower until 1971, when their difference became nearly zero. From 1918 to 2011, there was a rising trend for the amount of citizens who lived in their own house and oppositely, we have a falling trend for the number of people who rent a house to live in.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, from 2011,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 bar gives us the hint that we may have again the trends that we had in the past years in the UK.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • tenancy
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • proportion
  • residence
  • dwelling
  • shift
  • transition
  • migration
  • fluctuate
  • stabilize
  • rise
  • fall
  • increase
  • decrease
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