people living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?
It is undoubtedly true that
people
living in metropolitan city
nowadays face Fix the agreement mistake
cities
plethora
of issues in their daily Add an article
a plethora
life
. The biggest problem is that the increasing Fix the agreement mistake
lives
number of
population moving to the Correct quantifier usage
apply
city
lead
to many major problems Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
such
as crime and poverty. To tackle this
dilemma, government
should plan Add an article
the government
meticolously
before encouraging Correct your spelling
meticulously
people
to move to smaller area
.
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
Overpopulated
in a big Replace the word
Overpopulation
city
is usually caused by a movement from another smaller city
that looking for opportunities
in the city
centre, including getting better
education, having Add an article
a better
professional
job in a large company or opening their own business for a large market. Add an article
a professional
Consequently
, high demand of
housing causes the rising price of properties. Some Change preposition
for
people
might unable
to afford to have a place to live and that Add a missing verb
be unable
lead
to crime and poverty. Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
For example
, in the capital city
of Indonesia, Jakarta, many people
live
in a poor area mostly come from outside Jakarta, and Correct pronoun usage
who live
thus
usually people
who failed
to get Wrong verb form
fail
opportunities
as they planned before coming to the capital city
.
To fix these issues, some action can be done
Verb problem
taken
such
as Wrong verb form
providing
to provide
equal job Change the verb form
providing
opportunities
to smaller regional towns and of course an
affordable transportation to commute. If the root of the problem is because of many Remove the article
apply
opportunities
and easiness available in the city
, authority
should give the same as it is in the big Add an article
the authority
city
to prevent movement.
In conclution
, Correct your spelling
conclusion
while
encorage
Correct your spelling
encouraging
people
to move to Correct article usage
a samller
samller
Correct your spelling
smaller
city
can be a suitable solution to decrease Correct article usage
the problem
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
people
encounter in a big city
, it would be a
counterproductive to ask them Change the article
apply
moving
without planning the next step meticoluosly.
expand_more
editChange the verb form
to move
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well and presents a clear position. However, providing more specific examples and detailing your arguments more comprehensively will help strengthen your essay. Try to include data or specific scenarios to back up your points.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, some sentences and ideas could be connected more clearly. Use transition words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow of your writing.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings in your essay. For instance, phrases like 'overpopulated in a big city' and 'meticolousy' are incorrect. Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical accuracy and clearer expression.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction that sets up the problem well and a conclusion that attempts to summarize your arguments.
task achievement
Your central idea is relevant and addresses the task effectively, showing a good understanding of the subject.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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